Posted by Kim on 2/2/2002, 2:16 pm After leaving Luke's office, she quickly retrieved her coat from the coat check and had run almost a full block before Kevin was able to catch up with her. "Let me go!" Lucy screamed as Kevin grabbed her arm and she unsuccessfully tried to break free. The cold winter's night air was quickly drying Lucy's tears, which continued to fall. "Lucy, you'll break your neck running out here in the freezing cold in high heels," Kevin reasoned. "We need to talk." Nodding his head towards the doorway of a bar a few yards from them Kevin suggested, "Please, let's go in there where I can at least call you a cab if you insist on not letting me take you home." Lucy finally jerked herself free of Kevin's grip. Recognizing the fact that she was freezing, Lucy sniffled and haughtily raised her head as she entered the bar. She and Kevin sat down across from each other in a booth in the almost empty bar. "Aren't you going to call the cab for me?" Lucy asked warily. Kevin leaned back in his seat. "I am, in a minute. But we need to talk first." "It's kind of late to talk isn't it Kevin?" Lucy asked bitterly. "The unbelievable sight of Kevin passionately kissing and embracing Ellen in Luke's office continued to flash before her eyes. Lucy had been standing in the doorway at least 30 seconds, shocked in frozen horror watching, before Kevin caught a glimpse of her. "Apparently both you and Ellen have been keeping Matt and me completely clueless about your affair." "Lucy, I'm not to address what Ellen did or did not tell Matt because I don't know. I'm sorry that you found out my feelings for Ellen the way that you did, but I have told you repeatedly that I didn't want to be anything but friends with you. You cannot say that I misled you in that matter." "You didn't tell me that you didn't want to be with me because you were having an affair with Ellen Burgess!" Lucy shot back. "How can you even pretend that you've been honest with me?" Momentarily having a clear mind, Lucy snatched her cellphone from her purse and called for a taxi. Assuming that a taxi would be at the bar to pick up Lucy any moment, Kevin continued trying to talk to Lucy in the little time they had left. Leaning forward he looked Lucy directly in the eyes and said, "Lucy, you know very well that I couldn't tell you anything about my relationship with Ellen. But it really is a separate issue. Even if I never had a chance to be with Ellen, which was a very real possibility, you and I were not going to get back together again. Nothing has changed between us since we've broken up and it would have been useless to resume the relationship. We've discussed it many times; you just refuse to accept it." "You never told me that there was another woman between us!" Lucy insisted. "There is no woman between us Lucy. Didn't you just hear what I said?" Kevin sighed heavily. "Regardless, if I had confessed that I was in love with someone, you wouldn't have left things alone and you would have done you best to find out who this woman was before we were ready for people to know. I have no regrets not telling you my feelings for Ellen." "Love? You believe that you love her?" Lucy asked in wide-eyed disbelief. "Worrying about me and my reaction to you and Ellen should be the least of your concerns. Don't you think Matt Harmon is going to have something to say about all of this?" Seeing the look of concern that flickered across Kevin's face, Lucy knew that she had drawn blood with her last question. "I see that you haven't thought much of Matt. Well, when Ellen comes to her senses and Matt agrees to forgive her, maybe you might be looking for me to forgive you also." As the driver for Lucy's cab entered the bar, Lucy hurried to leave and put an end to one of her worst nights in recent memory. "Don't wait too long to call me Kevin." Now, back at his home alone, fear and uncertainty gripped Kevin as he wondered why he hadn't heard from Ellen yet. Was it possible that Matt, though he was probably angry with Ellen, convinced her not to break their engagement? Did he get her to agree not to have any association with Kevin? Certainly the longer he didn't hear from Ellen the more his anxiety grew. It would be stupid to call Ellen now, especially if Matt was still there. And it would be even more stupid to go to her apartment now. She had promised to call him tonight and Kevin decided to wait for her call, no matter if he had to sit up all night. Nervousness made him restless and he went downstairs to work on a new oil painting in an attempt to do something productive while waiting. Just before midnight, the telephone rang and Kevin answered it before the second ring. Without preamble, Kevin asked anxiously, "Ellen?" "Hi Kevin," Ellen said in a soft voice. All of the events of the evening had left Ellen emotionally and physically drained and Kevin could discern this from her voice. For the last two hours Ellen had cried continuously. Her rational mind told her it was silly that 'she' should be crying. After all, she was responsible for the turmoil and upheaval that occurred tonight. But knowing how she had hurt Matt, who had given her his love and support from almost the moment they met, distressed her tremendously. Ellen knew Matt deserved better than what happened to him tonight. Apologizing to Kevin she said, "I know that I should have called earlier but it's taken me sometime to pull myself together." "Are you alone now?" Kevin asked hesitantly. "Yes, Matt came back to the apartment with me but he left quite some time ago. He knows all about us now. Unfortunately, he heard it first from someone else tonight. We argued and he left, saying that we needed a few days apart before we could talk again." "So you two didn't finish talking tonight?" Ellen replied, "No, we didn't." Kevin drew a long breath. He needed to know now if Ellen had made any decisions about her future, and in essence his future also. "Ellen, when you came into Luke's office tonight, I sensed that you were coming to me. Was I right?" "Yes," Ellen admitted, "I was coming to you. I don't know what there is between us Kevin or if we have a future together, but I need to find out. I can't marry Matt and always be thinking "what if". It would be better for me to be alone than to have those doubts and also have Matt sense them. So yes, I want and need to understand what this is between us." Kevin would never be able to describe the overwhelming relief and joy that permeated through his body. He swallowed hard and blinked his eyes, silently thankful for Ellen's decision. After several seconds he found his voice again and asked, "When can we see each other and talk?" "Kevin, I need to talk to Matt again first. He was too angry to talk about our engagement tonight and I had no right to try to ask him to do so. I need to talk again to Matt before we see each other, so it may be a few days." "I understand," Kevin replied, not able to hide his disappointment. "It's just that, it seems as if because we've voiced how we feel about each other, I have this pressing need to see you and be with you. Do you understand what I mean?" "Yes, I do Kevin. I know exactly what you are feeling. That was one of the things I wanted to tell you in Luke's office. I want to see you too but I must talk to Matt first. I should have done it some time ago and we can't see each other anymore until I do, O.K.? "O.K." Kevin promised. "Can I at least call you tomorrow?" "Yes, please do." Ellen rubbed her neck as she finally started temporarily release some of the tension she'd felt all night. No matter what their relationship proved to be, Ellen knew that the foundation was a strong and deep friendship with Kevin. They had shared some of their best and worst experiences with each other during the brief 3 years they'd known each other, and tonight was no different in that respect. Recognizing this, a faint trace of a smile appeared on Ellen's face as she added, "That is, if I don't call you first. Good night Kevin" Ellen listened to the noticeable pause before Kevin eventually said, "Good night." Some things shouldn't be said during a telephone conversation; Kevin would wait to say what was on his mind when he would see Ellen.
It was 11 p.m. and Kevin lay on his bed, briefly breaking his almost constant stare at his ceiling to look at the uncomfortably silent telephone again. He had arrived home an hour earlier and immediately checked his answering machine for a message from Ellen. No message had been left, and during the ensuing time as he waited his mind continuously drifted to his altercation with Lucy.
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