Posted by Kim on 1/20/2002, 9:21 am Shocked in silent trances ~~~*~~~ Not normally a heavy drinker, Kevin's throat burned from the straight glass of Bourbon he quickly gulped down. The burning sensation strangely complemented the fire he felt was consuming him. Using his hands to brace himself as he leaned on the large oak sideboard, Kevin urgently tried to pull himself together before facing Lucy, Matt, and Ellen again. For months, hell maybe even years now, he was quietly attracted to and eventually grew to love Ellen, and at most it felt like a dull constant pain in his heart. But, by voicing his feelings and making Ellen aware of them, somehow the intensity of his feelings exploded and was much harder to control. It was as if acknowledging this connection between them brought it to life and made it impossible to suppress his desires any longer. Shaking his head, Kevin unscrewed the top off the Bourbon bottle and prepared to pour himself another stiff strong drink before facing anyone again. His hand stopped in mid-air as he heard the music from the dance floor momentarily blare loudly in the office. Without turning around he assumed that Luke had entered his office and he said, "I'll be out of here in a minute Luke. I hope you don't mind that I helped myself to your private collection of spirits back here." Kevin poured the drink in the shot glass. He was thunderstruck to hear Ellen voice reply, "I don't think the solution to what is bothering you in that glass Kevin." Kevin sighed heavily. "That's true. But I can't have the solution I want...the solution I need, and this," he said looking at the glass, "is a poor substitute." Hearing Ellen steps as she walked closer behind him Kevin's hands tightly gripped the sideboard and he warned hoarsely, "Ellen, I don't have nerves of steel right now - not after being so close to you all evening and after that dance we just shared." "Kevin," Ellen whispered softly and tenderly placed her hand on his shoulder as she stood directly behind him. Knowing he was undone by that single touch, Kevin took a deep breath and slowly turned around. The look of affection and more startling, acceptance, in Ellen's face made him dare to hope that maybe, perhaps, she did want to be with him. Afraid that what was taking place was a desperate love-sick dream which would end if he said another word, Kevin closed his eyes, leaning down to kiss Ellen as she raised her other hand to intertwine her fingers behind his neck, and they gave into the dream. ~~~*~~~ With fever I persist A demon's day in madness kissed ~~~*~~~ What began as tender, tentative kisses swiftly grew more ardent and passionate. The sensation of Kevin's hands gliding down her body took Ellen's breath away and she allowed him to draw her closer and meld their bodies together. All Kevin could see was the smooth chocolate-colored skin as he kissed Ellen's face and neck; all he could hear her sighs and moans in response to his adore. Only when he pulled his face from Ellen's face to look into her eyes did his senses notice their surroundings again. As it had occurred a few minutes earlier, the music was the dance floor was playing loudly, and with a sudden sense of foreboding his gaze traveled to the now opened office door. Kevin saw Lucy standing there, shocked in dumbfounded disbelief, staring at him as he held Ellen. Upon feeling Kevin's body involuntarily stiffen, Ellen opened her eyes and audibly gasped when she turned to see Lucy. Instinctively she dropped her arms from around Kevin's neck but Kevin refused to break physical contact completely. Instead of moving away, Kevin took his arms from Ellen's waist and tightly clasped one of her hands. The tears streamed down Lucy's cheeks as her heart was shattered into a million pieces. "Doc....how could you.....why...." she croaked, gasping for air between sobs. "Lucy, I should have told you..." Kevin didn't get a chance to finish the statement; he watched as Lucy spun on her heels and ran blindly from the office. Kevin knew that he couldn't erase the hurt and betrayal Lucy was feeling but he had to be sure that she wouldn't do something reckless in her initial rage that she would later regret. Still staring at the opened door he stated simply, "I have to go after her and talk to her." Ellen nodded knowingly and agreed. "And I need to talk to Matt. I made the decision on the dance floor before coming in here." Seeing Kevin look at her and prepare to say something, Ellen placed her fingertips on Kevin's lips to stop him from talking and reminded him, "Go after her now Kevin. We'll talk later." Gently stroking her cheek with his fingertips, Kevin vowed, "Yes, we will. Call me on my cellphone later, no matter how late it is." Upon receiving Ellen's promise that she would indeed call him, Kevin left the office in pursuit of Lucy. Ellen's heart was heavy and her feet felt like lead weights as she walked back into the club. Never in her life would she have believed she would ever hurt Matt, but tonight, it would be unavoidable. Quickly scanning the crowded club, Ellen didn't see Lucy or Kevin, but almost immediately her gaze locked with Matt's, who was coming towards her. In the midst of deciding what she would initially say, the look on Matt's face made her heart briefly stop beating and sent a chill throughout her body. "He knows," Ellen thought with despair, "He already knows."
~~~*~~~
Our eyes search just to know
What makes flesh and body hunger
For another burning soul
Conscience quiet pleading
In the corner of my eye
But seeing is believing
All consequences fly
The rages of your kiss
My reckless heart in fist
And I cannot resist
I swear I never had it like this
Forbidden yet I cannot resist
Song Lyrics Credit - Resist by Melissa Etheridge
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