Posted by Kim on 10/28/2001, 3:51 pm Not unsympathetic to her plight, Mac gazed directly into Felicia's tear-filled eyes as he softly spoke. "Felicia, you can't say that I didn't give our marriage several chances, not just one or two. I don't want this divorce to be about blame. I just want to move on with my life and hopefully you can move on with yours." "We still aren't communicating Mac. I'm sitting here talking about our marriage and you're talking about a divorce." Unclenching the hand in her lap, she reached out to touch Mac's face. "Can you honestly tell me that you don't love me anymore?" With closed eyes, Mac felt Felicia's palm pressed gently against his face. As he opened his eyes he took her hand into both of his. "Felicia, I no longer love you. I did once, for a very long time. But it's not there anymore." Felicia shocked gasp told Mac that she hadn't believed he would actually say those words. She immediately snatched her hand from Mac's grasp. "I don't believe you Mac. You're still angry and hurt about what happened with Luke and you want to make me pay, you want to hurt me. Well you have, you've hurt me deeply. Shutting me out of your life. Flaunting your affair with Dara. I want it to stop now Mac. I want you to come home." Not willing to listen to anymore of Felicia's demands, Mac stood to leave the office. The sight of Mac walking out of her - literally and figuratively - infuriated Felicia. Physically blocking his access to the door, in a taunting tone of voice Felicia said, "You're such an advocate for honesty, why don't you be honest with me and yourself? Why don't you admit the real reason you want the divorce is so that you can clear your conscious about sleeping with Dara? It's just cheap, tawdry, commonplace sex, Mac. It's not love or commitment or the history we've shared. Don't throw away our marriage over this. A divorce won't make you feel better about being with her." "Don't go there Felicia," Mac warned. "Don't confuse Dara and me with your relationship to Luke Spencer. You don't know anything about us." "I know everything about you two," boasted Felicia. "Do you really expect me to let you end our marriage and run to, of all people, Dara Jensen?! You're there at her apartment every night disgracing me and your family. And you two had the nerve to go to a church ..." Felicia abruptly stopped speaking, recognizing that she had said too much. Realizing that either Felicia was following him or someone on Dara's security team was keeping Felicia informed, Mac was furious with himself for not knowing the depths Felicia would sink to stave off the divorce. No matter what his suspicions were about Felicia and Luke's affair, not once did he consider tailing her, and he was appalled that she was collecting information about his and Dara's movements. Mac's face was only an inch away from Felicia's and he gave her an intense stare. "It's over Felicia. Our ...marriage...is....over." Mac said the words slowly and deliberately as Felicia blinked her eyes in disbelief. "I want to be a part of the girls' lives and I want to be divorced as soon as possible. If you don't offer a response to the divorce petition by the end of today I'll instruct Scott to move forward to arrange the earliest possible date for a divorce hearing before a judge." Placing his hand on Felicia's arm, Mac moved her from the door and he exited the conference room. At he walked towards Scott, who was standing in the reception area, Mac heard Felicia vow softly as she walked a few steps behind, "Oh no, Mac, you're wrong It's not over. Not by a long shot." ~~~****~~~~ "Who could that be?" Dara, wearing her ever-present Chicago Cubs baseball shirt, quickly raced across the living room to answer the doorbell. She had been trying to concentrate on some legal documents but her mind kept drifting to thoughts of Mac. She noted it had only taken a few weeks for him to become a significant part of her life, and this revelation took her by surprise. They had spent a wonderful weekend together and Dara missed him desperately today. She didn't expect to receive a telephone call from Mac until 10 p.m., after he spent time with Maxie and Georgie. Therefore she was startled to see Mac standing on her doorstep at 8 p.m. He looked weary and as if he'd been through a stressful day. Dara invited Mac in and offered him dinner after he told her that he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. During dinner Mac explained that Felicia refused to let him see Maxie and Georgie tonight; he was only able to speak to them on the telephone for a few minutes. Dara massaged Mac's head, neck, and shoulders as he told her of the caustic meeting today at Latham's law office. "It was awful Dara," Mac grimly sighed. "It is going to get a lot worse before things get better. Felicia is intent on making this divorce so unpleasant that I will give up rather than go through it." Mac mentioned Scott's suggestion about prolonging the separation in an attempt to bypass some of the nastiness of a divorce fight, but he let Dara know his feelings on the proposal. "I don't want to be in this limbo state for another year. Maybe when we saw each other in Kelly's before Christmas I shouldn't have asked you out, with the divorce not being final yet, but I couldn't stop myself. Years ago I had let opportunities to be with you pass when I wouldn't or couldn't make a move. In December I was grateful for the chance to be with you and I wasn't going to let it pass me by again. I know that you were uncomfortable introducing me as your boyfriend yesterday," Mac felt Dara's fingers immediately stiffen as he spoke and he quickly continued, " and I understand. I would want the divorce to occur quickly even if we weren't together. But I need to know how you feel about everything. If I push for the divorce, you may get touched by the mud Felicia will sling at me. To be candid, that is the only reservation I have about pressing for the divorce, and I don't want to lose you due to the nastiness of the fight. And I know that I will lose you if I'm not free soon." Mac sat up and turned to gaze in Dara's somewhat sad brown eyes. He stroked her face gently and whispered cautiously, "What do you want me to do, love? I don't want to lose you but also I don't want you to get hurt if you stand by me. I don't know what to do..." It was bad enough gearing up for this fight with Felicia, but that didn't scare Mac. What truly terrified him was the possibility of losing Dara if she was unfairly placed in the center of the divorce battle. Dara kissed Mac's hand and held it to her face. "You're acting like I have a choice in the matter. Do you think that I would leave you because of some lies or accusations Felicia would throw my way? I know that it won't be easy Mac, and as you say, there will be some rough times ahead. But I have no choice. I love you, with all my heart. Whatever happens, we'll get through it together." Upon hearing Dara's declaration, Mac embraced Dara. As he passionately kissed her, his mind echoed its version of Dara's truthful statement. They had no choice in the decision to be made; they loved each other.
Motioning for Mac to sit down again, Felicia moved to the seat next to his in hopes that their conversation would not become confrontational. "What possible reason do you have for not moving back into our home with me, Maxie, and Georgie for a few months? Why don't you want to give our marriage another chance?"
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