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Posted by Myrna I FEEL YOUR FRUSTRATION AND HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU, I'VE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING ON HOW WE CAN HELP YOU HELP HER, BUT ITS A TOUGH ONE ! SO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE THOUGHT OF? YOU MENTIONED THAT SHE'S 13 AND SHE HAS CP, MY DAUGHTER IS 14 AND SHE ALSO HAS CP, A WHILE BACK, I'D SAY ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO, I WAS STARTING TO NOTICE CHANGES IN MY DAUGHTER'S BEHAVIOUR MORE SO THAT SHE WAS MORE MOODY AND EMOTIONAL, I HAD HER SEE A COUNSELLOR AND IT WAS A GOOD MOVE BECAUSE SHE WAS DEALING WITH HER EMOTIONS THAT RESTRICTED HER ABILITY TO BE "ONE OF THE KIDS" AND WITHOUT HER DISABILITY. SHE WAS FEELING BAD ABOUT HER IDENTITY, WHO SHE IS WITH A PHYSICAL DISABILITY. SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WAS BORN THIS WAY AND COULDN'T ACCEPT THAT SHE WOULDN'T KNOW THE OUTCOME OF HER SITUATION. THE COUNSELLING HELPED HER DISCUSS HER FEARS, INNER DEMONS, AND SHE FOUND IT WAS BETTER TO SPEAK TO A THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR (CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST) BECAUSE SHE FELT SAFE AND THAT I WOULDN'T TRY TO SOLVE HER PROBLEMS. BECAUSE I'M SURE YOU KNOW AS A MOM WE ALL HAVE THAT HABIT ! BUT GETTING BACK TO YOUR DAUGHTER AND THE WAY SHE DEALS WITH HERSELF. I'D CONSIDER MAYBE MUSIC THERAPY, ART THERAPY OR LESSONS, SOMETHINGS HANDS ON WHERE SHE CAN GET HER FEELINGS OUT TO EXPRESS HERSELF OR EVEN LEARN WAYS TO IDENTIFY HER FEELINGS AND BE ABLE TO VERBALIZE THEM. WHEN SHE GETS INTO HER RAGE DO YOU HOLD HER (BEAR HUG) TO SHOW HER YOU'RE IN CONTROL? DON'T SQUEEZE THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HER, BUT JUST HOLD HER FOR A FEW MINUTES AND GET HER TO A STATE OF REASONING WHERE YOU CAN ASK HER TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL; WHY ARE YOU MAD; WHAT IS IT YOU WANT; BE SPECIFIC? IM JUST OFFERRING THESE AS SUGGESTIONS. I HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD SON, THESE METHODS WORKED WHEN HE STARTED THROWING TANTRUMS, ESPECIALLY THE BEAR HUG APPROACH, SHOWED HIM I WAS IN CONTROL AND GAVE HIM THAT SENSE OF SECURITY. IT HELPED. PLEASE KEEP US POSTED !
on November 28, 2006, 10:33 pm, in reply to "Re: rWhy do kids do what they do??"
HI LISA !
GOOD LUCK !
mYRNA
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