[ Post a Response | Justin Lee ]
Posted by Chuck Facts on 7/19/2006, 12:25 pm As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge. Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told. Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie". There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris. President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time. Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing. What many people dont know is chuck norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath. Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning. Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car. Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol. Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine. The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence. Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out. Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her. A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets. Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on. When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
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