[ Post a Response | Justin Lee ]
Posted by Chuck Facts on 7/11/2006, 11:13 am Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken. Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls. Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris." Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol. Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn. Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move. It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks. Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. "Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard. When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'." Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
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