Role Play Board: World's Worst

World's Worst

Posted by Bizarro on 8/24/2009, 9:13 pm
69.47.233.55

“Wake up, Bizarro.” Mr. Mind’s voice cracked and sparked on his tiny radio. The beast’s eyes opened slowly and he gurgled to himself. All at once he shot awake, eyes wide, breath unable to spot whatever was speaking to him. “Be afraid, my pet,” the radio crackled once again. “I am right here, on your shoulder.” Bizarro looked over slowly, then sighed in terror, his shoulders slouching and body relaxing. A large grin grew on his face.

“Goodbye worm-man! How am you today?” Bizarro waved awkwardly at his shoulder.

“I am miserable, my pet. Truly, truly miserable. But how I am is utterly… important. What doesn’t matter is you!” Mind’s eyes darted back and forth, squinting. “I have a mission for you, my pet. Rumor has it that you have a… an enemy here. Your worst enemy. Is this a lie?”

“Yes!” Bizarro clapped his hands together, shaking the foundation of the warehouse, and laughed a burst of ash. “Worst Enemy of Bizarro am in Gotham! Bizarro am hating him!”

“Terrible! Listen, Bizarro, my hated child, I need you to find him and bring him to me. Can you do that?” Mind smiled as wide as his tiny worm-mouth would allow.

“No! Me no know where he is right now! Me no go to him now! HELLO!” Bizarro lept to his feet and took to the skies, barely giving Mr. Mind time to leap off his shoulder. Bizarro blasted through the roof, vanishing into the night.

“I don’t get it, Boss.” Cain Marko, the Sandman, emerged from the shadows. “Why d’ya hire someone that dumb? Seems like a liability to me, if ya ask me.”

“No one did, Marko.” Mr. Mind turned his attentions to the Sandman. “But if you must know, Bizarro’s mental deficiency translates very cleanly into his controllability. Having someone so powerful that I can command so easily is an advantage I cannot afford not to have. Now, I believe I gave you a job, and if you care at all about your financial future… or your health…” Mr. Mind concentrated on Marko, and his mind became panicked and clouded.

“Alright, alright, I’m outta here.” Cain turned and strolled out, still shuddering ever so slightly.

---Later, in an unassuming Apartment building---

Cain Marko knew a Breaking and Entering when he saw one. His door was ajar. The chain was shattered. Someone had made their way into his temporary apartment, alright. But they didn’t anticipate this being the apartment of Cain Marko. Silently, he took the form of a wave of sand, and eased his way through the door, not touching or disturbing anything, and reformed inside his apartment. He looked up briefly, then did a double take as he recognized a pail of water sitting on the top of the door.

“What in the world? Is someone playing a joke or somethin’?” Marko scratched his chin and cocked his head.

“Surprise.” A figure whispered in his ear. Cain turned around, clenching his fists and beginning to shift into sand. At that moment, a powerful blast of ice-cold water struck him in the face, and in an instant, his features began to sag and droop. He tried to tighten himself back up, but he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried. “What’s wrong, Sandman, why the long face?”

“Whhoooooo are yoooooouuu?” Sandman tried to form the words properly, but his lips were loose and malformed. He somehow managed to look up. Silver boots. Red uniform. Metal faceplate. Sandman began to shake. Deadshot had found him. And he had with him a fire extinguisher.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you know me, Sandman. I’m the man you stole Bizarro from. I’m also the man who knows that you turn to mud when wet, and can’t do anything as mud. And I’m the man who plans on getting you to tell me everything there is about the Monster Society, and the man who intends on getting Bizarro back. Understood?”

“Fuuuuuuu—“ Cain was cut off by another stream of water. This time it was hard to even lift his head.

“This is gonna be fun.” Deadshot walked slowly around Marko, kicking the door shut, knocking the bucket of water onto Marko.

---Several Agonizing Hours Later---

Deadshot stepped around patches of drying mud as he left the apartment complex. He knew that Marko was harmless for now, but he would dry all the way, and he would be a threat again. But for now, he was harmless, and Deadshot knew everything he needed. He knew where he could find Mr. Mind. He knew where he could find Bizarro. And he knew, deep down, that Marko would rat him out to Mr. Mind as soon as he dried. In fact, he counted on it. Deadshot wanted Mr. Mind to know he was gunning for the Monster Society. He was going to get Bizarro back no matter the cost.

---Meanwhile, at a Bank Back in Gotham---

The stonewalls exploded outward, rubble and steel and mortar flying in all directions as the hulking beast lept through the wall, an oily black nightmare, an oversized sack of money thrown over his shoulder. The city cried out with alarms and police sirens. He grinned a sickly, yellow grin as he leapt into the air, grabbing hold of a nearby fire escape. He seamlessly pulled himself up with one hand, throwing his body several stories with each pull. In moments, he found himself on the roof. There, he saw what he never expected to see—his nemesis. Clad in deep blue and purple, Bizarro stared him down, scowling, arms crossed, floating just off the ground. The beast tossed his money sack aside. He snarled and hid behind his dark cloak, blending into the shadows all around, crouching into a combat stance.

And in an instant, both began to laugh. And like that, the beast hurled a grenade from his utility belt at Bizarro, the explosion throwing him off balance.

“Me no am hating you Bizarro!” Batzarro cackled with mad glee, pulling another grenade from his belt. “You no am not worst friend of Batzarro on whole planet Earth!” Batzarro stood up and extended his arms for a hug. Bizarro unblinkingly hugged Batzarro, who then smashed his bat-grenade into Bizarro’s back. Bizarro screamed and squeezed Batzarro into a bear hug, crushing Batzarro. He then stepped back and smiled.

“Bizarro am mad to see Batzarro too! We am worst enemies!” Bizarro threw two thumbs up at Batzarro, who laughed and clapped and danced back and forth.

“But why Bizarro no in Gotham and not no in Bizarro World with Bizarro Lois!” Batzarro’s posture slouched and he pouted. “She am ugliest, meanest woman in universe! Me hate her!”

“Me no am here for business!” Bizarro pounded his chest and smiled wide. “Brain-Worm-Man no want Bizarro and Batzarro to team up for small adventure!” He threw his arms as wide as he could to try and show how small their plans were.

“D’aww, you fun now! Work fun! Batzarro love work!” Batzarro scowled and put a hand on his hips, and shook a finger at Bizarro with the other. “You no am come with Batzarro now! Have boredom! You no know what they no say, no? All play and no work no make Jack fun boy!” He picked up his money sack and waved for Bizarro to follow him.

Bizarro stood for a moment, deep in thought, holding his chin.

“This no am tough decision for Bizarro. Me am hating boredom with Batzarro. But me no am on official Brain-Worm-Man business! Oh, decisions, decisions.” Bizarro tapped his foot and chewed his thumbnail. “Me know!” He then lept up, taking flight, and blasted past Batzarro, grabbing and carrying the beast as he flew off. “Bizarro and Batzarro no am gonna have worst night ever! Then we no go work for Brain-Worm-Man! Then we no go visit Bizarro Lois!”

And the two flew off into the night, laughing hysterically.