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Posted by Bizarro
on 7/14/2009, 11:27 pm
69.47.233.55
Bizarro was very confused. But then, Bizarro was often confused. Just a moment ago, he was with his hated wife on his homeworld Htrae, more commonly referred to as Bizarro World. But suddenly with a flash and a boom, he was in a new room of stone and metal, staring down a jet black, stony-skinned tyrant not unlike him, a monstrous man with burning eyes and an aura of purest evil around him.
And yet, when he tried to hug this adorable little man, Bizarro found his arms were bound. Still, Bizarro grinned wide, showing Darkseid his carefully dirtied yellow, misshapen teeth.
“HAW! Me am hating you, Stone Man! You am very scary!” Bizarro laughed a deep laugh from the bottom of his gut, shooting a puff of smoke and ember with it. Darkseid reeled in disgust.
“Well. I do not require you to LIKE me, only to UNDERSTAND ME. For I am not one to be liked. I am one to be FEARED and WORSHIPPED and DESPISED!” The Man in Black swung his fists in front of him, flailing about. “I am all that is terrible and all that is beautiful! In the end, I am all there is in the universe. For I am Darkseid, and Darkseid IS.” Darkseid rested his clenched fists on his hips and stared at Bizarro, grinning.
Bizarro stared at Darkseid for a long time, eyes wide and eyebrows raised, before burping and laughing.
“Quite.” Darkseid’s grin quickly faded. “Bizarro… who left you alone on Htrae? Who ABANDONED you to the cold of space and an eternity of solitude?”
“Superman! Superman hurt Bizarro and together they no am make Bizarro World! He am worst enemy!” Bizarro said, giggling and struggling against his bonds to try and clap. Darkseid lowered his eyebrows and scowled. A different strategy was in order.
“But,” that is not what Superman says.” Darkseid frowned and clasped his hands in front of him. He says he LOVES you. You are his BEST FRIEND. And the people of Earth feel the same way.” Bizarro’s grin quickly turned into a frown.
“Superman… am… liking Bizarro?” A single icy tear fell from Bizarro’s eye.
“Yes. And he and his planet feel the same about me! Oh, how… happy… it… makes me!” Darkseid said, further exaggerating his emotions.
“Then… Then… THEN BIZARRO LOVE EARTH! BIZARRO WILL KILL ALL EARTHLINGS!” Bizarro thrashed and kicked.
“Yes, that’s it! Fuel your… love… of Earth!” Darkseid began to gnash and grind his clenched fists. This is what Darkseid wanted—to have an evil, angry mockery of Superman at his disposal. To have a creature to lead his armies who would undermine everything the Earthlings love about Superman. And to have him be too stupid to understand his own power.
“Then go! Spread your love! Kill and destroy! For Darkseid!” Darkseid said, cackling and waving his fists. “And remember, Kal-El, the Man of Steel, he loves you the most! Tear him limb from limb!” Bizarro tore the chains off of his chair and flew through Darkseid’s ceiling into the cold reaches of space. Darkseid only laughed. Another had fallen to his way of thinking. But to Darkseid, this was inevitable, for he was Darkseid. He is where all things end.
Bizarro flew and flew for what seemed like hours until he saw it—a glistening blue jewel of a planet. Bizarro knew he was to destroy this planet. He listened with his super-hearing at people laughing, and children playing together, and people in love. He listened to the birds and the bees and the squirrels and he got angrier and angrier. This was a land of happiness and love and they needed a hero to set it right! And with that, Bizarro took off towards the jewel of a planet. For he was Bizarro. And he was a hero, if only to himself.
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