Role Play Board: Bizarro in: A Very, Very Sad Story

Bizarro in: A Very, Very Sad Story

Posted by Bizarro on 7/5/2009, 4:47 pm
69.47.233.55

Once upon a time, on a far away, cube-shaped planet past the furthest reaches of space, where logic and reason bend and flip and cease to exist, there lived a very, very sad people, ruled over in utter tyranny by a very, very sad king, and his very, very sad queen.

This all sounds quite bad, but, you don’t know Bizarro World. You see, if there were one word to describe Bizarro World and the people who live on Bizarro World, it would be “Backwards.” Things that you or I would find strange and terrible are normal and wonderful on Bizarro World. Happy people sob and sad people laugh. You shake hands with your enemies and beat up your best friends. Rich people live on the street and poor people have mansions.

And Bizarro Superman, the cruel and heartless ruler of Bizarro World, and his bitter and ugly wife Lois Lane hate each other, and spend every waking minute fighting and arguing.

They are in “love.” And they wouldn’t want it any other way.

However, on this particular day, a series of events was about to unfold which would change Bizarro Superman’s life forever.

It all began in the humble ramshackle apartment of Bizarro Superman. Bizarro was, as he often was, being beaten with an umbrella by his wife, Bizarro Lois, both of them cackling wildly all the while.

“Me am loving you very much, Bizarro!” Lois yelled, swinging the umbrella harder and harder, her cockeyed, yellowed smile growing wider and wider.

“Awww, you am worst wife on Bizarro World! Me am hating you!” Bizarro said, head flapping from side to side with each lash of an umbrella, hands pressed to his chest.

“Me am hating you too, Bizarro!” Lois dropped her umbrella and lept into Bizarro’s arms and hugged him for a very long time.

Then came the flash. A light, brighter than any on Bizarro World, began to shine behind Bizarro. And the light grew, and grew, until there was a huge, white portal in Bizarro’s living room!

“Bizarro, Look! Tiny Portal no am forming behind Bizzaro’s stupid head!” Lois said and pointed to the light, hopping up and down and giggling.

“Tiny Portal am very scary! Me no am going to go outside it!” Bizarro walked into the light, shoulders slouched, hands dragging on the ground, digging into the floor as he walked. Then came the sound. A horrible, terrible BOOM, like a thousand cannons, that nearly tore Bizarro’s ramshackle apartment in twain. Bizarro and Bizarro Lois found this noise very pleasing.

Then the light faded, and Bizarro was gone. Bizarro Lois looked around for a moment.

“Bizarro! BIZARRO! Where am you!?” Lois called out. But he was nowhere to be found. Lois then walked slowly over to her couch, and sat very quietly for a very long time. “Me am very happy.”

Bizarro looked around the room for a long time. He grunted and scowled, and scratched his head, and grunted some more. This was not his ramshackle apartment. This room was huge and empty with walls of cobblestone and cement and floors of cold steel, full of wires and tubes and obelisks. There was a giant computer screen on the wall. And in front of him was a man, tall, dark stranger, stony-skinned with glowing red eyes, clad in the darkest black armor Bizarro had ever seen, exuding a sense of terror and evil.

Bizarro tried to hug this adorable man, but found he was restrained.