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Posted by Agent X
on 7/3/2009, 12:34 pm
69.180.153.101
----------Offices of Johnny "Tex" Reed, Land Developer, 9:31AM----------
"Hot damn son, I was hopin' ya weren't all bluster," Johnny "Tex" Reed exclaims as Alex Hayden enters his office. "I can't tell ya how happy I am t' see ya!"
"Seems your as happy as a boll weevil in a drawerful of Granny Pritcharts bloomers!" Alex responds with his best southern accent.
"I ain't familiar with that there sayin'," Tex responds, both confused and slightly offended, "and you don't need t' talk like that t' make me happy."
"But it ain't gonna make you not happy, right?" Hayden questions, throughly enjoying this manor of speech.
"I reckon not," Reed answers, still unsure of the man before him. "Well I suppose we best be down t' business." He swiftly interjects in a desperate attempt to move the employment interview along. "I'm in need of some special security and I think yer the man t' do it."
"If you hire me I'll have you wrapped up tighter than a prairie dog in a bulls behind." Alex retorts with unbridled joy.
"Right...anyhow, I got me a little problem with some of them filthy muties," Tex states with an intolerant scowl replacing his usually placid exterior. "No offense."
"None takin'" Hayden replies while continuing with his drawl, "I ain't a mutant." Alex then raises his hand to his chin and looks to the ceiling lost in thought. "Well, I guess technically I'm two mutants, even though Wade Wilson isn't really a mutant, but he does have a mutants healing ability..." Alex slams his hands down on Reed's desk and beams him a smile as he says, "Well I reckon I'm not sure if I'm offended er' not."
"Either way," Tex shoots back, growing more confused and frustrated by this strange young man by the minute, "There's this little bit o' land they call mutant town, and I'd hoped to aquire the land some time ago, but them damn muties won't sell it, not even fer a more n' fair price." Reed exclaims, clearly disgusted by the mere thought of a mutant.
"Why not just find some other land?" Alex questions, unsure of Tex's endgame.
"Well, ya see the government, they want this land fer a military trainin' facility, but they're too afraid of the backlash should they just take the land right up from under them muties." Tex says while mimicking pulling a rug. "So they let the development community know that there was a whole mess a money in store fer whoever could wrestle that land away from it's current owners."
"So ya want me to go in there and make them mutants as ornery as a as an drunken armadillo behind the wheel of Chevy Silverado?" Alex questions while honestly pondering the thought of always talking in this manner.
"Nah, I already started workin' my magic as far as getting them muties out is concerned. All I need you fer is protection."
"So what do you mean, like a bodyguard?"Hayden asks while dropping his accent and slumping his shoulders.
"Well yes son, I reckon that's exactly what I mean." Tex exclaims while popping to his feet and extending his hand to the mercenary. "You want the job?"
"Sure," Alex responds unenthusiastically while accepting the business man's hand, "sounds...boring."
----------Diary of Alex Hayden, Monday June 15th----------
Why does money have to buy happiness!?! There is nothing in this World more dull and unfulfilling than making sure another human being makes it home alive. I mean, who do I get to shoot while I do that? I'll answer that rhetorical question for you, nobody! But if I turn down this job I have to drag my ass back to the Agency and explain to Sandi why I turned down easy money. What a gip! It's not like I ask for much when I go looking for work. I just want to be able to shoot and or blow someone or something up, then call it a day. But no, instead I'm stuck trying to make sure somebody doesn't get shot, and doesn't get blown up! I mean, have you ever heard of something more ridiculous in your entire life? But I better get my game face on and remember that I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it for Inez and Sandi.
I thought maybe I could go to Mutant Town and see if someone would hire me to kill Tex, but Sandi said no. She said it would "compromise our professional integrity", whatever the Hell that means. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and someone will try to kill him and I'll get to have some fun after all.
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