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Posted by Nightwing
on 6/19/2009, 3:57 pm, in reply to "le Grand Saut (Part 1)"
98.242.74.70
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I’m instantly floored, unsure of how to react. My mind wanders and I try my hardest to comprehend what the extent of this offer would mean. Immediately my thoughts are that this is a mistake, that this isn’t suppose to happen to a guy like me. I’m not a main eventer; I’m a second stringer, a former sidekick. That’s my comfort zone, it’s what I’ve always been, and I’m completely fine with it, “Me? I’m sorry, but…I…I don’t understand.”
Ted places his hand on my shoulder and looks me confidently in the eyes, “You’re ready for this Dick. It’s the next logical step in your career.”
“But, you guys have Batman. What do you need with his old partner? I’m like diet Batman. There isn’t a point in having two of us on the JLA at the same time,” I reject the offer at first, letting my own concerns get in the way of a potentially great moment in my life.
Donna steps forward, her face even more demanding and serious than Kord’s, “Dick, that isn’t even close to the truth. You bring so much more to the table than just having another Batman on the team.”
I raise my eyebrow, “Like what? What do I offer that Batman doesn’t already have in spades?”
“No offense to your mentor, Batman is an amazing tactician and strategist, but when it comes to team work, he’s got some serious faults,” Donna informs me with conviction in her voice.
Ted follows her, “Exactly. You were the first Robin; the original sidekick. All your life, you’ve been involved in team situations. Your training reflects that. First, you led the teen titans, then the Outsiders, and when Bruce was gone, you were the one leading the charge in Gotham. No one asked you to lead any of those teams, you just naturally fall into that spot.”
As I listen to Ted’s speech, I recall the different times in my life that I have found myself in the position. It’s interesting how you can find out little things about yourself from others without having ever realized it yourself. Everything they say is true, but I’ve never really noticed it before now.
“This team is shaping up to be a formidable group of heroes, but we lack one pivotal skill; sound field tactics. As individuals, we are all great fighters, but none of us can manage to come together as a team. We need guidance, someone to help call the shots in the heat of combat. Your brain is attuned to such a job, and we need your intuitive strategies on this team,” Ted finishes his spiel and I find myself hard pressed to say yes. Unfortunately, there is something inside of me that just isn’t ready to agree to such responsibilities.
I take a deep breath and lean against the wall behind me, “Guys…look…” I collect my thoughts before continuing, “I’m honored by all of this and it would mean the world to me to be a member of the JLA. But I don’t think I’m ready for something this big. I’m happy in my own little corner of Gotham, you know?”
Donna answers me first, “What you do in Gotham is nothing short of amazing, and the city needs you. We understand that. After the crazy stunt you pulled off last month*, none of us will be forgetting that anytime soon. There will be time for your normal life and you can return to Gotham whenever you want. You would only be required to come in moments of need.”
* (Explained in the continuing story “What Goes Around…”)
For a moment none of us speak. The room becomes awkward as Ted and Donna look at me in anticipation. I realize that I am standing on the edge of making the most important decision of my life. The pressure begins to get to me, and I want nothing more than to turn and run from the room. I’m not normally such an emotional wreck when it comes to making decisions such as this. I should be happy, excited, to be offered such an amazing position, but it’s the one subject I’ve never really been good at dealing with.
Taking this job means that I’ll be stepping out of line; that I’ll be breaking the hierarchy that Bruce and I have lived with my entire life. It’s like an unspoken pecking order between Tim, Bruce, and I. Batman is the leader, the main guy. He was the first to rule over Gotham and the one that trained us. I was the first side kick, the first to get adopted. My job is simple, I back up Batman when he needs it, and help the newer guys stay out of trouble. Tim is the new kid, the one at the bottom who keeps things fresh and reminds us why we do what we do. That’s how it has always worked. What happens if I break the cycle?
Ted can see the concern on my face and looks at Donna for ideas. They stare at one another for several minutes before Ted looks back at me, his voice incredibly somber, “Look, I realize I sort of put you on the spot and that you weren’t ready for such a tough choice. You have to understand, this team has come together so fast, and I’m just so excited to make it all work. I rushed things a bit and I wasn’t aware the decision would weigh so heavy on you.”
I manage a half smile and let my gaze fall to the ground, “Sorry…”
“No. You don’t have to be sorry for anything Dick,” Ted grabs both of my shoulders and brings his eyes in line with mine. “Take some time to think it over, ok? This isn’t something that has to be decided immediately. Sleep on it and really think it through. Then, when you feel comfortable with the choice, let me know what your decision is, alright?”
It isn’t the answer I want. If I had it my way, the decision would be pulled from the table and I could just walk away and act like this was never possible. Instead, I have to go home and figure this whole thing out for myself.
Laughing to myself, I shake my head at the stupidity of the situation. I’ve faced the terror of psychotic killers, men with the power to destroy the world, and Gods who have tried. I didn’t stop to doubt myself for any of them. I did as I was trained to do, everything I had within my power to stop them, and there wasn’t a single question in my mind that it couldn’t be done. But when I’m faced with something as simple as joining the most elite team in the world, I suddenly panic. Why the self doubt? Why now?
I lift my head and look at both of them, before finally nodding, “Okay. You’ve got a deal.”
Donna smiles as she jumps into my arms and squeezes me tightly. I let out a heavy grunt and wrap my arms around her, “Careful, my ribs are still sore from that whipping you gave me earlier.”
Ted places his hands on Donna and I and winks at me, “Just think, you could be training with her every day in the near future.”
My eyes grow wide and I swallow hard, “If you’re trying to sell me on the idea of joining this team Ted, you are failing miserably.”
We all break out laughing together.
It feels so good to laugh again. Kind of makes me wonder why, then, is it so hard to say yes?
***TBC***
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