Role Play Board: Weapon X pt. 6

Weapon X pt. 6

Posted by Deadpool on 4/3/2009, 12:12 pm
71.74.252.43

Deadpool is a graduate (VICTIM) of the super-soldier programs, Weapon X. There he was trained to be a living weapon (EXPERIMENTED ON) and hailed as the greatest of the programs warriors (REJECTED AS A FAILURE). Now, he’s not only one of the world’s most dangerous men (THAT’S TRUE) but he’s also one of the world’ most attractive bachelors (ACTUALLY HE’S HIDOUS) So ladies (IF YOU SAW HIS FACE YOU WOULD PROBABLY) Hey-- (PUKE ALL OVER) Dude. (WHAT?) What are you doing? (WHADAYA MEAN?) Tryin’ to give a bio here. (WELL THEN GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT) Its OUR bio bro! (…OH…)

Anyway I’m a hero (MERCENARY) and I’m out to make (MONEY) the world safe. Story. Go.

Deadpool teleports in front of the Daily Bugle with the so called “Sasquatch” on his back.

“AHHHHH the sweat smell of money! OK WHO WANTS THEIR VERY OWN SASQUATCH! STARTING BID IS $1,000,000. IF ANYONE DOES NOT WANT TO PAY THAT AMOUNT YOU CAN KISS MY A$$. JUST NOT LITERALLY!”

Then some blond retard comes up to me and starts taking pictures of me.

“Hey nice pose… Oh I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself I’m Eddie Brock I work for the Daily Bugle.”

Deadpool then pulls out a microphone or whatever that handheld thing is called and yells. “HEY YOU SEE THIS GUY RIGHT HERE? GUESS WHAT…DOUCHBAG!”

“Hey thanks I might get fired now!”

“Good thing because I don’t know who has hired a Douchbag before?!”

“Well then why do people hire you?”

“WOW YOU ARE A REAL FUNNY GUY HAVE YOU TRIED COMEDY? Any ways have you turned into Venom lately?”

“Umm sir what are you talking about.”

“Nothing I’m from the future and I come in peace!” Deadpool then uses the Vulcan live long and prosper sign!

“Ok I will be leaving now.”

“Good thing Brock I’m going to see your boss! GOD I HATE PEOPLE! Maybe I should take an anger management class?” Deadpool then takes an elevator to the top of the building. Once Deadpool reaches to the top floor he can already smell it…cheap cigars, fat people and especially the web guy. Of course he has to talk to me first! YAAAAAAA!! Don’t you just love Mondays?

“Well hey Wade what’cha got there?”

“Don’t antagonize me its Sasquatch! Are you Mental or something!? Oh wait I forgot your peter parker so your technologically mental.”

“Have you been going to school lately? You’re saying some big words that I’ve never heard you say before?”

“Thanks A$$hole you make my day blossom!” Deadpool winks at him and gives him thumbs up.

“Really?” Peter grins at him.

“NO! Now get out of my way before I punch you so hard, You’ll spin right round like a record player baby… RIGHT ROUND!”

“Ok whatever you say mister wade.”

Deadpool starts to walk slower he now just realized that he is carrying 300 pounds of raw SCIENCE! Or Sasquatch to him.

“Come on man I’m only 10 ft away and now its starting to feel like 10 New York blocks.”

Deadpool steps into Jamenson’s office and starts getting yelled at.

“Who the hell are you and what’s on your shoulder!”

“Ummm yeah I’m Wade Wilson aka Deadpool, and I have front page news on my shoulder that I’m only offering to you.”

“Yeah… So what the HELL IS IT DUMB@$$ GET TO THE POINT!”

“It’s Sasquatch.”

“Come again?”

“Sasquatch yeah I said it. So do you want it or not?”

“Yeah sure I will take it, and here’s your payment.”

“$1,000 that’s it?”

“I can wipe you’re A$$ too if you want? Fine $5,000 you happy now sparkles?”

“So when can you wipe my A$$ it’s kinda itchy?”

“Get out of my office.”

Deadpool then teleports back to HQ and gets plopped into a meeting. The Professor then turns around and greets him.

“Well good timing Deadpool we were just to discuss our next mission.”

TBC…EVEN IF YOU DON’T WANT IT TO BE!