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Posted by Ash (Moon Knight) on 8/30/2008, 8:46 pm
Message modified by board administrator 8/30/2008, 8:54 pm
Well…kind of.
Guy finally gets back to real world only to find the Deadites have taken a king sized dump on everything. After loosing even more friends, he defeats evil twin, AGAIN, destroys Deadite infestation, and saves the world. Everything has now returned full circle.
The end…or so I thought.
Now I got to worry bout some book called the Necronomicon long story all you need to know its covered with some dead mooks ass cheeks
“You’re going to pay for this! When I’m finally freed of this I will make it my only purpose in life to destroy you, you worthless son of a--”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all before. Ooh I’m gonna flay your flesh from your bones! I’m gonna suck the fluids from your body! This is where it ends you two-bit evil encyclopedia.” Ash let the rope in his hands slip slightly and threw one over his mouth as he caught it with his metal gauntlet. “Oops. I almost caused you a boo-boo.”
Ash’s laughter echoed through the small room deep in his basement as the Necronomicon hung from the end of the rope. Bindings covered the book leaving its eyes and mouth exposed yet bound its pages keeping it from flying away…don’t ask its done it before. Below it sat a five gallon bucket filled with a mixture of turpentine and simple white out.
The eyes on the cover of the book made from human skin widened. “Mark my words! You will regret this!”
“Only thing I’m regretting is not covering your mouth with one of the bindings.” Ash dropped the Necronomicon even closer to the bucket of solution before jerking it back up and away. “Now even though I thoroughly enjoyed our morning session I’ve got to get to work but worry I’ll be back at lunch time to check in on my widdle biddy Necronomiconny.”
Ash teased the book with his normal hand by leaving it in front of its mouth and it gnashed at him trying to sink its teeth into his flesh. “See that’s why I can’t leave you out, well that and what you did to my carpet the last time you nasty little thing you.”
The Necronomicon slammed into the cast iron chest and let out a bellow of agony as Ash began to secure the numerous locks around the chest. “Poor baby. Now shut up!”
>>> a short time later <<<
The 1973 Oldsmobile Cutlass pulled into the parking lot of the local S-Mart belching fumes. The car held a special place in Ash’s heart even if it was the fifth one he’d had in the last several years.
“Geesh Ash why don’t you put that thing out to pasture?” Another S-Mart employee shook his head as Ash got out of the Olds. “Or maybe put some money into fixing it up a bit more? You ever think of that?”
“What are you talking about this things a classic!” Ash ran his metal hand down the rusted hood. “Besides these things don’t grow on trees you know. Its hard to find parts for ‘em.”
“You try the junkyard?”
“Nah. Top of the line is all this baby gets.” Ash opened the door for two of his female co-workers and ran his hand through the shock of hair that had fallen down into his eyes. “Hello ladies. Name’s Ash. But you can call me anytime.”
Buck shook his head at the girls who smiled and giggled. “I wasn’t talking about for parts. I meant just take it there and leave it.”
“Hardy har har.” Ash punched his time card and pulled his smock on. “You’re a regular unknown comic you know that? All you need is a bag over that hideous face of yours.”
“Funny guy. Oh and did I forget to mention you’re training the new kid today?”
Ash let out a groan and almost started to whine when a young man probably no more than sixteen stepped out of the break room.
“Hi. My name’s Livius. Its extremely great to finally meet you.” The boy extended his hand and shook it vigorously not even seeming to notice or care that it was made of metal.
“The names Ash; Housewares.”
“I just about died when I heard you were going to be the one training me. The one and only Ashley J. Williams and I get to work side by side with him all--”
“Yeah, yeah, kid no need to get all gushy on me or nothing.” Ash stalked off toward Housewares with his new companion following right behinds like an excited puppy. “Not that I actually want to have a conversation with you but what the hell kind of name is Livius anyway?”
“Oh its Roman. It’s Latin for envious.” The kid watched Ash’s every move sometimes even mimicking them.
“Okay now first things first, you’re going to stop that and I mean right now.” Ash moved his hands indicated that the mimicking was not a good thing to do. “Second I’m not your buddy, your partner or you friend. I’m just guy who knows his s##t when it comes to Housewares and a thing or two about saving the world but that’s neither here nor there.”
“OH I know all about you. Your stories are all over the internet! There was even a B movie made about you!” Livius practically foamed at the mouth he was so excited.
“Listen here Livius you and my girl Shiela, seem to have a lot in common—you both act like women and talk too much.” Then Livius’s words seemed to sink in. “A movie? Now that’s groovy.”
“Yeah I was the moderator for a message board about the movies and everything. I’d show you but it kinda shut down for lack of interest.”
“That just goes to show you that a guy like me never gets his due. Movies and I never seen a damn penny in royalties!” Ash bent down and pointed to a set of keys to the gun cabinet in next isle of Sporting Goods. “These are mine. You don’t use them unless I tell you too. Comprende compadre?”
“Well the lawyers said its public domain being the ranting of a lunatic and all. I mean between you and me I believe you but some people out there just don’t have the ability to see the truth. I mean you actually held the Necronomicon in your hands. And I’m not talking the Simon version or even that drivel by Anton Szandor Lavey the real honest to God Necronomicon!”
Ash stopped in his tracks and glanced back at the kid as he made his way near the gun cabinet. “You don’t say. You know about the Necronomicon do you?”
His hand took hold of the keys and he slowly and quietly slid them into the lock for the gun cabinet. In the blink of an eye he had a Winchester lever action rifle in one hand and the kid slammed up against the shelving with the other. “Looks like I’m about to expose to Deadite brains again.”
“Not…a…deadite...” Livius coughed between gasps for air as Ash’s metal hand held his throat tight.
“Yeah yeah. I’ve heard that before then BAM crazy she b***h is trying to lick my brain through my eye socket.” Ash cocked the hammer back on the rifle. “Sorry but I’m not falling for that one again.”
Read on…
(OOC: Official notice to any one who reads the Army of Darkness comic. This idea is currently in the currect arc for the comic but I thought of it first and nearly shat myself when I read the first issue of the arc the other day. I've had this planned for months! Now try as I might I could not come up with another idea but having read the 2nd issue of the arc I see very little simularity other than who the bad guys are and even they are a different take on them. Soooo I'm sticking with this idea and we'll see where it goes hopefully mine will be better!)
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