Lori, I hope you are feeling better. Grief is wretched, I wish I never had to experience it again. There are many people who have felt as you did and that's why there is a service called grief counseling, a short-term therapy for people who have lost loved ones, animal or human and are experiencing grief so deeply that they don't care if they live or die. Please, if you ever lose a beloved pet and feel that way again, talk to somebody, either a grief counselor or someone you completely trust. I don't mean to tell you your business but it's such a permanent solution to a temporary situation that time helps heal.
Cathy and Shiloh