It just worried me that you were having thoughts of harming yourself...the loss of a pet is like the loss of a family member.
It's been just over three months that we had to put our cat to sleep and we still cry.
I still miss my dog from when I was in my 20's.
The hurt never goes away it just gets eaiser to deal with each day.
Everyday we kiss Dumdum's pict, and say "good-morning & good-nite" to him...his Urn sits on a stand where we walk by many times a day and so he is still and always will be a part of our life.