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Posted by BA on 5/29/2009, 5:40 am, in reply to "To the guy who tried to mug me"
--Previous Message--
:
:
: I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket
: that you demanded I hand over, shortly after
: you pulled the knife on me and my
: girlfriend. You also asked for my
: girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I hope you
: somehow come across this message.. I’d like
: to apoligize. I didn’t expect you to crap in
: your pants when I drew my pistol after you
: took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing that
: jacket for a reason that evening, and it
: wasn’t that cold outside. You see, my
: girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber
: Model 1911 45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and
: we just picked up a shoulder holster for it
: that evening. Beautiful pistol , eh? It’s a
: very intimidating weapon when pointed at
: your head, isn’t it? I know it wasn’t a
: great deal of fun walking back to wherever
: you’d come from with that brown sludge
: flopping about in your pants. I’m sure it
: was even worse since you also ended up
: leaving your shoes, cell phone and wallet
: with me. I couldn’t have you calling up any
: of your buddies to come help you mug us
: again. I took the liberty of calling your
: mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in
: your cell and explaining to her your
: situation. I also bought myself and 4 other
: people in the gas station this morning a
: tank full of gas on your credit card. The
: guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons
: and was sxtremely grateful!I gave your shoes
: to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie
: Van Go Go’s along with all the cash in your
: walllet. threw the wallet in a fancy pink
: “Pimp Mobile” parked at the curb after I
: broke the windshield and side window out and
: keyed the driver’s side. I called a bunch of
: phone sex numbers from your cell phone.
: They’ll be on your bill in case you’d like
: to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down
: the line and I’ve only had the phone for a
: little over a day now, so I don’t know
: what’s going on with that. I hope they
: haven’t permanently shut off your service. I
: could only get in two threatening calls to
: the DA’s office and 1 to the FBI with it.
: The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a
: long chat.I guess while he traced the
: number. I would also like to apoligize for
: not killing you and instead making you walk
: back home humiliated. I’m hoping that you’ll
: reconsider your choice of path in life–Next
: time you might not be so lucky—LOL
:
:
lew; Good for you. If you see him again, just shoot him!
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