For example, the Rockford Files. A half forgotten show from 20 years ago that I LOVED, suddenly had Internet sites and discussion groups. Not knowing 2 people in RT who loved the Rockford Files, suddenly I was in touch with a whole community of people who shared my obscure interest in this show.
It started to occur to me that there might be Goreans on the Net too, and I started to search. But first, I am going to talk about Rockford, because it relates. Rockford Files had big hunky James Garner with a different female costar in every episode. He was handsome, strong, brave, secure, noble, honorable, tricky, smart and funny. What can I say, he was my perfect man.
It didn't take long to find the Silk and Steel. It was all Goreans then, and I was an excellent Kajira. When women started coming on as FW, I always wanted to ask them, "What the hell are you doing here?" If you are into Gor, you must have a slave belly, so why play a FW?"
Over time it changed and I went to other rooms that were more roleplay rooms, as the S&S turned to a lifestyle room. Tavern of Stone, where we invented chores, Bi-FemGor, where we invented Panthers, Gorean Point Inn, where we focused on dancing. Ship of Accquisition, TuriaAustnet, etc. Always a slave, much in demand.
But Gor kept changing. People with no clue looking for hotchat, sadists, subbie princesses - all started getting the word of how much fun it was to be Gorean. Some of these people searched out books and learned about Gor, but most just jumped in with both feet and started pretending they had a clue.
I got sick of computer geeks without a clue, and lifestylers, whose Gorean lifestyle included spending 15 hours a day on a computer. I got sick of people trolling for free phone sex, or tracking my IP, or calling me a gamer because I wouldn't meet them in RT. And I quit.
But I kept checking the search engines and observed that the Gorean community was shifting back towards roleplay. I ~observed and saw some Goreans and alotta people who didn't seem to have a clue. Then I came up with this idea that I would find my Master Rockford by traveling and I came up with the idea of Jasmina, Panther Storyteller. Traveling Gor, telling my story, and finding the few men who were confident and strong enough not to be threatened by me. Looking for the man who deserved my submission.
I had it narrowed down to 3 possibles, all of whom are dead now or gone, when Shadow Hunters killed Jasmina. I brought her back as Bekka, but something had changed. I had joined the ranks of what I came to call burnt slaves, those who had their bellies quelled by bad Masters or mistreatment. Bekka started learning to fight, to protect herself from those who would collar her, but NEVER Master her. She knew there were some men on Gor who could, but over time she saw that they were mostly enamored over perfect subbie types that she could never be.
Many had accused her of being a fake Panther, so when Bekka was killed, I tried several Panther Lairs, and got killed out several times, because my vision of Panthers with bellies who learned to abhor weak men, was not shared by Panther Leaders. Then I took a tour as FW Fortuneteller and looked at Gor from another view. I could play that, and was good at it, but it was boring and unfulfilling.
So I pitched my robes and turned Rogue, in the XRoads, fully aware that I could be caught and collared, and defying men to try. Expecting someone good enough and Gorean enough would succeed, and vowing to rp it out no matter what happened. If I acknowledged capture or if someone got a script judged, bye bye Panther. In so doing, I ran across more clueless wannabees who couldn't roleplay, couldn't fight and didn't have Gor in their hearts. I found that so many Panthers and kajirae had carried bad roleplay so they can be captured, that most men didn't have a clue how to actually capture someone who was genuinely resisting, or they were used to having their roleplay validated by women who wanted to be captured, even when it was weak.
Over time, I came to realize, that the small minority of Gorean males who might Master me, had kajirae throwing themselves at the males' feet. Not only would such types not want to bother with the type of challenge I posed, but even if they did, their egos were so pumped up by the laws of supply and demand, that I found that even the best men on Gor did not hold much interest for me.
When I was caged in Scagnar, there was a very small part of me that remembered how much of a turn-on I might have once found the situation to be, and I realized that I had changed. I really had evolved into a book Panther, with a belly, but also with the knowledge that I could not be a kajira again. Even if there was a Master Rockford, he would be surrounded by lesser Goreans, and I could not slave for them.
On Gor natural selection weeds out the non-Goreans. Until something similar happens to weed out the non-Goreans among us, I will continue to Panther. My model is not Xena, but Sidney Bristow of Alias. Beautiful, sexy, fights like a woman, and a Master of Disguise, manipulation and trickery. I understand that nobody wants to turn Gor into Alias, myself included, but that doesn't mean that a few Sidneys cant spice up roleplay on Gor.
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