Posted by HPLaserJet on November 7, 2009, 4:09 pm
I had a tearful discussion with my therapist recently, in which I was agonizing over whether I should "come out" and if, in fact, I were a lesbian and she asked me why I felt I needed to label myself as one thing or another? And I said I wanted to be authentic, and true to myself, and she said why can't you just label yourself a sexual being, in whatever way or ways you feel moved to express it. And that made sense to me. I really don't feel that I'm a bisexual, or a heterosexual, or a lesbian. I feel I am one or the other or the other at different times. My feelings change. Things cycle in and out, back and forth, up and down. It's disorienting sometimes. But it's exciting, too. I don't want to "out" myself, only to find in a year, or two, or three, that my feelings have changed again. I guess what I'm saying is I reject the idea that I'm "in the closet." The whole world is my closet. It's vast and fun to explore and I can open and shut the doors and windows and go in and out as I choose. This whole thing reminds me of the words in Walt Whitman's poem called 'Song of Myself' near the end, stanza 51 I think, where he says: Do I contradict myself?
Very well then, I contradict myself.
(I am large. I contain multitudes.)
I'm interested in any thoughts you might have -- from those who are "out" and those who aren't.
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