Posted by Real Deal on November 7, 2009, 2:50 pm, in reply to "Thanks to you"
"Look up! Way up! There!!! It's a flying toad!!!
I was pleased to read this Toady. Nice post. You sound so grounded for someone who can fly.
Happy day and days to you too.
Warmly,
RD
--Previous Message--
: I just want to say a broad 'thank you" to
: those of you who've been so supportive while
: I was so depressed. Muddling through this
: water has been a smackdown to me. I've
: wavered enough to make myself dizzy. I am
: really grateful to those of you here who
: have been kind and gentle. I'm doing much
: better; the depression hasn't snatched me
: for a few months.
:
: The big turn was when I moved out of the
: house I own with H for a few months, then
: returned to the house and moved downstairs.
: I really feel as though I drew a line
: between us and he at last understood that I
: was serious about the marriage not working
: for me, but the fighting stopped because we
: have both accepted that. He is fine with
: this arrangement. He doesn't want me to go.
: But something inside me has shifted. i
: feel at peace with the fact that I'm a
: lesbian. I'm out to my family. I feel that
: I am growing the wings (okay, since I'm a
: toad, the legs?) that are required for my
: next act. I'm not impatient with myself
: anymore. I can live here and feel confident
: that being a lesbian is what I am; that
: being in a primary relationship with a woman
: is more fulfilling, both emotionally and
: sexually; yet, I can also be pleased for the
: good things i enjoy in my current
: arrangement: My husband is kind, my kids
: love coming here, etc. I don't feel
: unsettled or like some force bigger than
: myself has picked me up and dropped me into
: hell anymore. I love myself and I love that
: I'm a lesbian. I love that I am looking
: forward to a more fulfilling life, yet being
: at peace with the one I'm in. I am still
: compelled to come here nearly every day for
: support. I find the posts of others to
: sometimes be so helpful, especially when
: we're talking about being married lesbians,
: and trying to figure out why that happened,
: and what will be required to change that or
: make peace with ourselves.
:
: So that's all. Just "thanks."
: Happy day, everyone. Toady (not so
: backwards anymore)
:
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