Posted by sobertoday on November 6, 2009, 4:30 pm, in reply to "Re: ccsgirl introduction:) "
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story. Congratulations. What a great thing to hear that people do make the decision to be happy and move forward.
I specifically love your line about "how can I not do this", I think that sums up so much for me in my relationship with my g/f. She is working on finding the place for her that's right and deciding when she should tell her husband. I try not to pressure her about that because I know that it is her decision and can only happen in her time, but I may have to borrow that line and share it with her...How can we not do this? That just answers everything for me...thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story here and providing some hope to those of us that aren't there yet.
--Previous Message--
: Welcome, great first post.
: --Previous Message--
: Hi all,
:
: I’ve been reading here for quite some time
: and posted a few times already, but haven’t
: gotten around until now to introducing
: myself. First, I want to thank all the women
: here that share so much of themselves, each
: person has added so much to my journey! JB,
: don’t mean to disregard any one else, but I
: totally love your direct style…so many of
: your postings have been like a light bulb in
: my head…can’t thank you enough
:
: I’m 39, married for 18 years (separated for
: the past 6 months), have 4 children, and
: have fully committed myself to the most
: amazingly beautiful woman. My GF and I met
: around this same time last year; she and I
: were both co owners of our own respective
: businesses located in the same shopping
: center. She is a LLL and had been with her
: partner on and off for the past 10 years.
: During the last holiday season we were both
: extremely busy with our stores and didn’t
: really get to spend much time together other
: than the occasional “hello, how’s your day”
: sort of chit chat. After the holidays were
: over and business pretty much died, we
: started spending each morning sitting in
: front of her store sipping coffee, talking,
: and getting to really know each other.
: Eventually our half hour mornings turned
: into a couple hours and then we were
: basically rushing to get our work done and
: out of the way so we could spend every spare
: minute with each other. I realized very
: quickly that I was extremely attracted to
: her, but I wasn’t really sure how she felt
: about me. Every day I would vow to spend
: less time with her, convincing myself that
: she wasn’t interested in me but just a very
: genuinely friendly person, and every day I
: would find myself sitting there totally
: absorbed in her. Finally one day I just
: admitted to her that I couldn’t come down
: and spend time with her anymore because I
: was getting too attached, figuring that she
: would say something like “I’m sorry that’s
: not how I feel about you” or something along
: that line, but to my surprise and excitement
: her exact words were “I know, me too”. The
: next day she came into my store just to talk
: about us…it was confusing, exciting,
: scary…you name the emotion and I was feeling
: it. We talked for awhile about what we both
: wanted to do about how we were feeling and
: basically decided to play it by ear; I even
: mentioned that I wouldn’t be able to do
: anything for at least another two years
: because I wanted my two oldest children out
: of school first. We look back at that
: conversation now and just laugh at how naïve
: we were in thinking that this relationship
: would have waited that long.
: That conversation was in March, we became
: intimate with each other about a month
: later, and I realized, even before the
: intimacy, that I couldn’t stay in my
: marriage. I told my h that I was in love
: with her, told him that our marriage wasn’t
: going to work, and moved out to my own place
: at the beginning of May. Gf moved in with
: me around the end of July, my daughter lives
: with me full time, the oldest boy comes to
: visit occasionally, but stays with his dad,
: and the younger two split time between my
: house and his.
:
: That’s the condensed version obviously, we
: had some very bad emotional times through
: the whole thing; he was hurt, the older
: children were hurt and upset, the younger
: two were confused, her partner was hurt, but
: through the whole thing she and I were
: falling deeper and deeper in love with each
: other. Neither of us had ideal
: relationships prior to meeting each other,
: we weren’t truly happy in our
: marriage/partnerships, nor were we exactly
: unhappy, but I had already had thoughts
: that after the youngest two were grown I
: would leave. She and her partner were almost
: always in disagreement about something, they
: were just so used to being together that
: they just stayed.
:
: Gf and I, meeting each other, it was like
: finally waking up and realizing that total
: soul-consuming love wasn’t just some myth. I
: never understood it; never really got the
: whole “I love you” thing until I met her and
: it’s just gotten better, deeper, and more
: fulfilling as time has gone on. She’s the
: only woman I’ve ever been with and it’s the
: hottest, most sexually satisfying
: relationship I’ve ever experienced in my
: life, but it goes so much farther than
: that…so much more emotional, so much more
: equal and connected. Our relationship
: started fast and yet it was never fast
: enough, it was never a question of “should I
: do this” but more of a “how can I not do
: this”; being apart from her…being with
: someone else was pure hell. We’ve talked
: about it many times; for us there has never
: been a moment of regret, never a moment of
: doubt that we belong together. My h and I
: have discussed the divorce process, but
: neither of us are financially ready as of
: yet to face it head on. He seems very happy
: lately, I work in the same office with him
: and he’s come in a few times whistling…I’m
: pretty sure he’s seeing someone now too. My
: daughter is the happiest I’ve ever seen her,
: she finally has a stable relationship with
: her dad because they aren’t always in the
: same house together; she has a great
: relationship with my gf and will talk to her
: about things that she isn’t comfortable
: discussing with mom. My oldest son seemed
: okay with my relationship with gf in the
: beginning, has pulled away from me in the
: last month or so, but he’s 18 now so he
: doesn’t really want to be around me much at
: this point anyway. My youngest two are
: totally in love with gf and she with them,
: they don’t even question why she’s there but
: they complain the loudest when she isn’t.
: My immediate family, with the exception of
: my oldest brother, has been very supportive
: of my new lifestyle, basically telling me
: that they just want me to be happy. H’s
: family has totally disowned me, and I’ve
: lost a few friends, but I’ve also accepted
: the fact that I’m responsible for my own
: happiness and I'm choosing the best way for
: me.
:
: Ccsgirl
:
:
:
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