Posted by xgirl on November 5, 2009, 12:41 pm, in reply to "HELP!!...Here's my story (sorry so long)"
goodness, that's quite the tangled triangle! I think I would break everything off and spend some time alone REALLY thinking about what *I* wanted. It sounds like you're getting a lot of pressure from H and GF and what you should do is decide all on your own what you want to do.
*hugs*
--Previous Message--
: I hope this doesn't get too confusing, but I
: will try my best. I have been married to my
: H for 5 years. Approximately 3.5 years ago
: our closest friends decided to divorce
: because she was questioning her sexuality
: (and apparently had been for a while, but
: brushed it aside). About 8 months later my
: H decided to let her move in with us since
: she was having some financial troubles. H
: was also working out of town at the time and
: was only home on the weekends so he thought
: she would be good company for me during the
: week. She and I definitely got closer
: during this time as we spent so much time
: together.
:
: One night she and I were having a couple of
: drinks and talking and we kissed. It wasn't
: the first time we had kissed (we had kissed
: playing some drinking games before), but
: this time was much different. It was very
: intense. It felt good, almost right. This
: started to become a more regular thing.
:
: This is when things get interesting. One
: weekend when H was home. The three of us
: were sitting around having some drinks and
: watching footaball. H started kissing me,
: then started kissing her and the next thing
: you know things are happening with the three
: of us. This started to become a regualr
: thing, but only after a few drinks. So when
: H was out of town, more started happening
: between her and I (I will now refer to her
: as GF). At first I questioned whether
: things should be happening when H wasn't
: involved, but it seemed ok since it was ok
: when the three of us were doing thing. And
: it just felt very natural, not awkward at
: all.
:
: Well about a year after things started, GF
: decided to tell me that before the three of
: us, her and H had an affair (prior to her
: divorce). This apparently went on for 3
: months or so. This helps explain why it
: wasn't super awkward when things happened
: with the three of us for the first time.
:
: Soon after GF told me things between the
: three of us stopped, but between the two of
: us didn't. I made H aware of things that
: were going on and of my feeling towards GF.
: He told me I needed to make a decision about
: whether I wanted to be with him or her.
: This was last Thanksgiving. I told him at
: that point that I needed to make changes in
: my life and move on. Well this decision
: only lasted 1 day,then I started questioning
: my decision. So we are back to square one.
:
: Well in April, while he is working out of
: town, he meets a girl and decides he wants a
: divorce to see how things go with this girl.
: (I took this very hard) He contacts someone
: about the divorce and begins seeing this
: girl. About 2 weeks later when he comes
: home, I ask him when we should start telling
: people and he says he doesn't think we
: should. That things aren't really working
: with this girl. So here we are again back at
: square one.
:
: In the meantime, things are still happening
: with GF and I. She is away at school, but
: when she comes home we spend a lot of time
: together, often the three of us, but when H
: goes to bed things happen with GF and I.
: She is starting to get very frustrated with
: the whole decision and wants a decision from
: me too. So now I am getting pressure from
: both H and GF.
:
: H is now giving me a deadline and says if I
: don't decide he is deciding for me (he will
: move out and we will get a divorce). I am
: completely confused. Part of me fells like
: I owe it to my husband to give him another
: chance (he admits that he has not been the
: perfect husband, but is willing to make
: changes), but the other part feels such a
: connection with GF. GF says at this point
: that she doesn't know if a relationship with
: us would work because of all of my
: indecisiveness. I think it could.
:
: Does anyone have any advice???
:
:
:
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