Posted by glittergirl on November 5, 2009, 10:24 am
I am grappling with yet another feeling and new situation (seriously people, which situation will FINALLY be the cherry on top and I can start eating my way through the sundae to the bottom??).
I have nooooo desire physically for my h. Haven't had for years and no hope that it will ever be there(and question if I even did in the beginning). Right now, I am actually feeling a lot of anger towards him (this can be worked out as he has stepped up and I know I can work through anger). Every little thing he does irritates me this past month or so. Yet, I think if we worked on it, I could get back to the place where he is by far my most supportive, funny, fun-to-be-with, understanding friend.
He has set up a few dates. I don't feel like I can tell him not to since I have had a gf and I also know I won't ever desire him and the thought of him physically with someone else is just fine by me. No issues with that. However, the thought of him in the future sitting on the porch step with a glass of wine talking and laughing with someone else makes me cringe. My little green-eyed monster wants to claw some eyes out and this is just a fictional woman at this point. I also can't stand the thought of someone else mothering my babies. How do I get past these feelings? I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him either (ugh, I feel horrible saying that). I want to have my cake and eat it, too. . .right? How do you truly let go of a relationship? I think my way of doing that right now is to get angry and push him away, but I want to remain close friends with him. HELP! Would couples therapy help with this or is this something I tackle in my own therapy?
For those of you who chose to leave your H even though you were emotionally very close, how did you do it? Are you still good friends? Do you ever regret leaving?
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