Posted by mystic on November 3, 2009, 5:16 pm, in reply to "Rene30- My Story"
Thank you so much for sharing. Hang in there 
--Previous Message--
: Hi Rene.. I have been married for 10 years
: and have 3 small kids...3, 5, & 7. It
: hasn't been the best marraige..lots of
: emotional & mental abuse. My H also has
: a bad temper that has never come out
: directly at me or the kids..but has resulted
: in broken items around the house. I met my
: GF (a LLL) 2 years ago at work. I felt an
: instant attraction to her. I shrugged it
: off, assuming it was just my imagination
: that was running a muck with me. We worked
: closely together on a project for 6 months
: and became very good friends. However, one
: day she told me that she had feelings for me
: and wanted to know how I felt. I couldn't
: deny that I felt the same. However, I was
: married...she lives with her partner and
: cheating was not something I had ever done
: before...and it wasn't going to happen now.
: That didn't last very long. I could not
: hold back my feelings for her...and she
: could not hold back either. We have now
: been 'together' for 16 months. We love each
: other. I adore her. I can not imagine life
: without her. However, the situation is so
: complicated. I don't want to hurt my kids,
: she doesn't want to hurt her child. She
: can't afford to leave for financial reasons.
: I can't seem to get my H to move out..even
: when I asked for a separation. So we each
: remain in our current situations and are
: biding time...treading water...and trying to
: enjoy the moments we do have together.
: Lately, the confusion and utter insanity of
: it all is getting the best of me. I have
: days where I just can't take it anymore and
: "IM DONE" comes flying out of my
: mouth. Though in my heart I know I'll never
: be done with her. I have many days where I
: feel like I've made a complete mess of my
: life...that I am someone I do not even
: recognize. A liar...a cheater...a sneak...a
: fake. How can loving someone so
: much...cause so much destruction? It's a
: love I just cannot let go of right now.
: It's a connection I've never had with anyone
: else.
:
: My situation at home is at times torture.
: My H says he loves me and wants sex often.
: I try to dodge it as best I can. But in
: trying to keep the peace...sometime I just
: feel like I have no choice. This causes
: major issues between my GF and I...for
: obvious reasons.
:
: I need to stop...because I could go on and
: on... I hope this is enough info for
: you...maybe too much??
:
: -2Much
:
:
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