Posted by xgirl on November 2, 2009, 11:17 pm, in reply to "How Did You Meet Her? What Happened? "
I don't think I have ever written this out, so this might be fun for me 
in January 2007, my (now) ex-H and I moved to a new state and city with our then 18-month daughter. On the first day in my new city I met this girl, let's just call her S. The first stop in our new city was to go by his new office, and she worked there. She looked very different from anyone I had ever met. Super tall, black and fuschia hair-- I could tell instantly that she was a lesbian. I had no problem with that of course, my mom is a lesbian, but it was my first observation--- tall, cute hair, lesbian...
She and my ex-H worked together, so I saw her at parties that his co-workers would have. She was always friendly, but I always felt "boring" in her presence. What did I have to say other than "hi, how are you, talk to you later." Oh, and did I mention I was 8 months pregnant when I met her? So at every party I ran into her at I either had a baby hanging off me, or a toddler, or both. I was often exasperated because ex-H never helped me at the parties.
Ex-H and S never got along. S was always very strong and independent and didn't take shit from him. He talked about her often, always b###hing her out for something at work that happened. Whenever I ran into her, I was intimidated because of the things ex-H told me. And I never felt interesting in her presence, so that just added to my intimidation.
Then, one day she and I went to the same sex toy party. I had never been to one and she was tricked into going to it by another friend of hers (who bailed on her at the last minute). S and I sat together and had a blast laughing at all the hilarious things in the catalog. That was the first time we ever laughed together and talked more than pleasantries. She invited me that day to a party at her house the following week, and I went. The party was REALLY fun. I had a blast-- we all got blazingly drunk. Another girl (who happened to be ex-H's boss' WIFE) hit on me and pinned me down in the den and started to kiss me. I panicked and wanted her to stop. S walked by and I just wanted this other girl off of me. S walked by again (it was her house afterall) and this time I REALLY wanted this other girl off of me. I finally got the girl off of me (and she instantly went and passed out in the guest room-- she was WASTED) and it was then time to find a place to sleep. I don't know why, but I wanted nothing more than for S to let me sleep with her. All of a sudden I had this craving to go cuddle with this ONE girl.
Months went by and I didn't think of her in that way. Then one night she invited me and a couple other girls to a drag queen show. When I got there to meet her she was alone because the other two girls had to bail. I had never really talked deeply with S, and that night we had a chance to do that. Once again (oops), we both had too much to drink. The next thing I know, she kissed me. We went to my car, where the kissing continued. I went home, texted her to see if she got home safe and we never discussed it again.
Fast-forward a month later. My ex-H, kids and I spent 5 days with S and some friends at a distant ranch (11 hours away from home). I had a blast, ex-H was cranky and a pain in the ass the whole time and S was awesome. She hung out with all the kids (kids and animals adore her) and was just a total joy to be around. Once again, I went home and didn't think anything of my identity or her.
Forward again a month later and a straight GF of mine and I went out dancing. I had recently gotten an iPhone, so I checked Facebook while my friend went to the bathroom. S had posted something on my wall (or maybe I was just looking at her wall, can't remember) and for some reason I had a very strong longing for her at that moment. I posted on her wall again and the next thing I know she texted me. I hadn't saved her phone number previously, so I was stoked she got in touch. We texted back and forth throughout the evening, and ever time she replied I felt so exhilerated.
When I got home from dancing that night, I had S on my mind constantly. That kiss, how soft it was. How soft her skin was when I put my hand on her face. How amazing she smelled.
The next thing I knew I was instant messengering with her and I got flirtier and flirtier with her. She was adament that she had no intention of being with a married woman and that the kiss was a total mistake.
I couldn't get her out of my mind though. Over the next few weeks I couldn't think of anything but her. I finally realized what was going on-- I'm not just "the gayest straight girl", I am in fact GAY. Wow!
So, I came out to my ex-H, within a month we filed for divorce and 60 days later we were divorced.
***disclaimer here: my marriage with ex-H was very flawed for years. I did not leave him for S. She had encouraged me repeatedly to try to work it out with him, but I really couldn't. I won't bash ex-H here, but let's just say it was time to move on and I have no regrets.
So, anyway, it's been several months now and S and I are now deeply, madly, crazy in love. I truly feel like she is "the one" I'm supposed to be with forever. We have a lot of messy things to deal with like ex-H STILL despising her (more now than ever), but we've gotten through a lot of that junk already.
And that's where I am today. We don't live together but spend as much time together as possible. She is wonderful with my kids and they absolutely adore her. It drives ex-H crazy because they always talk to him about her
Sorry this is so long.
--Previous Message--
: Hey All -
: I'm pretty new here and I am really
: enjoying what people write. It blows me
: away. One of the things that interests me
: most is how this phenomenon of falling in
: love with a woman happened to you all. I'm
: still pretty disoriented and confused and
: fuzzy about the whole thing. But I'm
: interested, too. Intrigued. I would love
: to hear some stories about how you came to
: be on this website (which, I assume means
: that you are, or were, married to a man, and
: now are in love with a woman)
: How did you meet the woman you love? How
: did the relationship develop? Was she gay
: or straight (or both?) How long before you
: told her your feelings for her? How did she
: take it? I would love to hear some stories
: from people who are in the same phase of
: this process as I am... and I'd love even
: more to hear from some people who have made
: more "progress" than me, so to
: speak. I look forward to hearing some of
: your stories. I think it would really help.
:
:
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