Posted by Looking Forward on November 2, 2009, 9:28 pm, in reply to "How Did You Meet Her? What Happened? "
Last spring we met on an online dating site. I hated the whole idea of that but didn't see any other way of meeting someone. We emailed for a couple weeks.. talking about our lives, kids, she seemed so down to earth and likable.. we could relate with each other's lives. Once we met, I was so relieved. She was not only what I had expected, but so much better! I guess I am drawn to a certain type of personality.. deep, but not too deep.. intelligent, but not super nerdy, femininely attractive (not sure if that makes sense!), but not prissy or self-absorbed. I like someone who is real, doesn't try to act or look a certain way for anyone else. I love someone with inner strength, but is not afraid to show when they're vulnerable. She was all of that. Our relationship progressed.. eventually realizing we loved each other. She was the first person that I loved in every way.. I had never known what I was missing. I'll start listing some of those things :-) ... Intensity, a strong attraction, or I should say what it really feels like to have an emotional and physical attraction simultaneously (wow!), not being able to think about anything else, I could go on and on listing things that I had felt for the first time.
Our relationship started to become rocky when we both realized how much we cared for each other. It was becoming apparent to our husbands. (They knew about our relationship) Then, we began talking about the idea of separating, something neither of us had ever expected. She ended things a couple times, basically freaking out from all the pressure everyone was putting on her, to not break up the marriage. She always said how weak she was during these times.. I always wanted to tell her how STRONG she was.. it would drive me absolutely crazy. She has no idea how strong she actually is. It would make me resent the people around her that would weaken her. All they did was intimidate and never encourage. I had no control over it & I couldn't be the encouraging person in her life. I felt as if I would be viewed as the biased gf who only had my own interests in mind. It was a very frustrating time... having to sit back and watch her struggle without being able to do anything.
Anyways, I stayed on the same course through all of this, moving closer and closer to separation from my H. I finally moved out a month ago and so did she. But soon after that, she started facing more issues.. from her H, her kids dealing with the separation. Then she ended it. Just like that. We didn't even talk. I knew things were starting to get difficult for her, but then two weeks ago, I got a very brief text saying that we can't have any contact and that she has to try to save her family... that nothing else matters. I am still trying to figure out how she could end things like that, it makes no sense to me. I feel betrayed, like the past year and a half means nothing to her. If it did, she would have taken a MOMENT of her time to talk and I would just listen if that's all she wanted. SOOO... it's been really hard. Sometimes I wonder why the heck I can't get over this quicker, then I remember it has only been two weeks. I just hope I can truly move on without having the closure that I really want... and need. Ugh.
I wish I had a happy ending for you HP! Just know that there is SO much to look forward to in a relationship with a woman you love.
--Previous Message--
: Hey All -
: I'm pretty new here and I am really
: enjoying what people write. It blows me
: away. One of the things that interests me
: most is how this phenomenon of falling in
: love with a woman happened to you all. I'm
: still pretty disoriented and confused and
: fuzzy about the whole thing. But I'm
: interested, too. Intrigued. I would love
: to hear some stories about how you came to
: be on this website (which, I assume means
: that you are, or were, married to a man, and
: now are in love with a woman)
: How did you meet the woman you love? How
: did the relationship develop? Was she gay
: or straight (or both?) How long before you
: told her your feelings for her? How did she
: take it? I would love to hear some stories
: from people who are in the same phase of
: this process as I am... and I'd love even
: more to hear from some people who have made
: more "progress" than me, so to
: speak. I look forward to hearing some of
: your stories. I think it would really help.
:
:
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