Posted by sweetgirl on November 2, 2009, 9:55 am, in reply to "waiting"
I recently had a dinner outing with a group of friends and was so happy that Eric and Jose were there. Eric is a father of 4, recently divorced and gay who now has a wonderful partner, Jose. For 4 years Eric has been fighting an unusual ban in his small county that prohibited Jose from being around Eric’s children. It was a long, expensive battle all the way to the state supreme court. The love Eric has for his children and the love that he has for Jose prevailed. This past June on Father’s Day, they all spent the day together and have had many more since. He now co-parents with his xwife and Jose is there by his side. It was worth the wait!
My best buddy is gay, had been with her partner for 11 years and they have TRIPLETS who are five. She once connected with a woman through work, who was married. Several years later they reconnected on a different level. Life was different and they fell in love. Her GF was at the end of her marriage and she and her husband separated, he moved out, she and her daughter stayed in the house. My friend and her partner moved to an in-house separation, for the kids. It’s been hell, but my friend has managed to put herself first and her children have thrived. My friend moved out on her own three weeks ago. 23 months after falling in love, there are still some boundaries in place but she and her gf and their children are together very often, the kids are still thriving and they are living life together. It was worth the wait!
I don’t know the details of your situation but I hope offering these examples might be helpful. The wait or not to wait decision is uniquely personal and I think you’ll find some positive experiences here on AJ. I think you’ll also find that the successes were because there was honest/open reciprocal communication at all times possible, acceptance of self, patience, respect for one another’s position because you both have your own struggle, with complete understanding of circumstances and knowledge that at times, you need to allow yourself the opportunity to step away from the struggle, if only for a moment and focus on your love. Just that, your love. It would seem after 4 years that you have these qualities in your relationship. I hope more will post and share their experiences.
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