Posted by bigbird on November 1, 2009, 8:36 pm, in reply to "QUESTION: do you feel like your mother "got you" or "didn't get you"?"
curious, my mom is my best friend, i think emotionally we are alot alike, sensitive & loving, touchy feely kinda ppl, we both wear are feelings on our sleeves...and i think we are both emotionally accessible....my mom was valedictorian of her graduating class and she has such a love for life (loads of friends) and an awesome sense of humor...she is very lady like, loves to wear dresses and make-up, she always smells of perfume and gets her hair done every week..she can still hold her beer down and wear a good sweatshirt and pair of jeans to boot...not to shabby for 77y/o...i def like women like that..... 
--Previous Message--
: hello ladies,
:
: i am having a rather long convo, as in
: on-going for months, w/ a non-AJ LLL lezzie
: friend,
:
: wherein we are talking about emotional
: availability and our fams of origin,
: particularly our relationships w/ our
: respective moms.
:
: specifically:
:
: i kinda always felt like my mom "didn't
: get me".
:
: like we were on dif emotional and for sure
: intellectual planes.
:
: in my teen years, for multiple reasons it
: was tense, to say the least.
:
: i was also very bonded w/ my father. we used
: to have these long ongoing dialogues about
: things. he really got me and all. i tended
: to look up to him and saw him as strong and
: tried to emulate his style.
:
: in this familial configuration, i feel like
: i absorbed his aggressive masculine style.
: you know, the John Wayne/James Bond tuff guy
: approach, stuffing my feelings down and all
: that.
:
: i think i was not feminine in my emotional
: life at all, you know being tuff and not
: crying, learning how to be and attracted to
: all things logical, learning how to predict
: everything.
:
: here on AJ, we have in the past discussed I
: and E (introverts v extroverts), T and F
: (thinkers v feelers) and then recently M/F
: (masculinity and femininity). i think to a
: certain extent these are diagnostic of part
: of what i am trying to discuss.
:
: i am a non-shy introverted masculine-type
: thinker who is trying to be, working hard to
: become over a long time, more of a feminine
: feeler. this becoming more feeling and
: caring is important to me because it is the
: only way i see a relationship working out.
: {i can be as someone here said succinctly, a
: d!ck <-- figuratively.
:
: i am wondering if anyone else can relate?
:
: or maybe you had dissimilar experiences you
: can likewise share?
:
: maybe you all can share:
:
: 1 - self-disclose, esp your experience w/
: your moms. what was your emotional life like
: w/ your mother? are you close w/ your mom?
:
: 2 - and then i am wondering if you have any
: thoughts/insight into your own emotional
: style and how if at all your relationship w/
: your mom has anything to do w/ your ability
: to be, or not be, emotionally available and
: emotionally accessible?
:
: 3 - does your relationship w/ your mom have
: anything to do w/ what you want from a
: relationship partner?
:
