Posted by dancer on October 31, 2009, 7:58 am, in reply to "Re: my kids' last day..."
BJ - I remember the feelings you are expressing, absolutely, with crystal clarity. I understand the agony of today. And I want to let you know that I'm thinking of you very, very much this week-end.
My own equivalent week-end was during the last week of August last year. I remember watching my children go about their day, and feeling each of those sentiments. It IS painful beyond words. It IS entirely normal. And above all, it IS a part of the journey (a high, high wall to climb, if you like - and perhaps the highest that you have ascended yet) that you simply HAVE to go through, and so do they.
By way of comfort, and without resorting to platitudes, one thing I can tell you, is that a year down the line things have grown a little easier and a little better each day since that week-end. But in order for us all to get to this place I had to walk through fire that week-end. I couldn't side step it, or jump over it, I had to walk THROUGH it. Focus on the present, yes (and I know that you are doing so, brilliantly) but remember to keep your eye on the future too. They WILL be proud of you eventually is my guess, they WILL understand, they WILL love you for the incredibly thoughtful way you are going about all of this, ultimately. Don't expect too much of them initially. Know that their feelings will evolve with the passing of each month and of every year, and with the loving support of you and of their father.
Stay brave and clear, eat healthily, try to sleep. Remember that they will go through a whole host of reactions over the coming weeks - just as you did yourself, when you were coming to terms with your sexuality. Above all, give them time. So much in my thoughts and heart this week-end, BJ.
--Previous Message--
: We all know you are:
:
: Brave
: Courageous
: Honest
: Authentic
:
: They will see that in the future.
:
: Remember, their first reaction won't be
: their last. We don't serve our kids by
: hiding them from life's difficulties. We
: serve them by giving them the tools to meet
: life's difficulties. You are going to show
: them how to be brave, courageous, honest,
: and authentic. You are giving them a
: tremendous gift, bj.
:
: BIG Hug to you.
:
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