Posted by 32flavors on October 30, 2009, 3:12 pm, in reply to "Husbands pain.........."
I can relate so much to how you are feeling. I went through the exact same thing a few weeks ago. My H found out, and within about 4 or 5 days, hit his anger stage.
In my case, my H is also my best friend. He is a good man. So to sit and watch him go through these emotions, this pain, and hurt, and anger, when he hasn't done anything at all to deserve it...well, it's torment. And most of the time, I think - it would be so much easier to just stop this nonsense, and tell him I was wrong, and just suck it up and ignore my feelings, in order to not have to watch him go through this. But that wouldn't be fair either, to anyone involved.
All I can say, is that you WILL hear from him soon, if you haven't already. He does deserve the right to feel his pain. And he needs some time and space to clear his head and get grounded again. Hopefully, that was the only time he'll hit that anger stage, but unfortunately, it may come and go a few more times; it just takes so much more time than we feel we can emotionally give. That's the way I feel anyway.
I wish you the best of luck with this part of your journey. If you're anything like me, it has changed from taking one day at a time, to taking one breath at a time.....
--Previous Message--
: I posted on Monday morning that I had told my
: H (married 19 years, 2 great kids) that I
: had fallen in love with my friend and had an
: affair over the past year...........he was
: crushed and devasted, he has been kind and
: considerate this week....until last nite. He
: finally really hit the anger
: stage..............had the opportunity to
: lash out verbally, I understand he deserves
: this time to hurt. He left the house early
: this morning and I have not heard from
: him..............I keep remembering what you
: shared with me on Monday...........he
: deserves the right to feel his
: pain...........I felt so Blessed this week
: that he was able to function and act kindly
: towards me.......I tried not to take any of
: that for granted, for I knew this part was
: coming. No matter what we think we might be
: ready for, we are never ready til we are in
: it.........and now that Im in it, watching
: him hurt, feeling his anger, hearing his
: pain, ...........its like I can't breathe. I
: know that there will be growth and strength
: on the other side for both of us. Getting
: there is just the hard part. Thanks for
: letting me share..........peace to you all.
:
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