Posted by Grateful on October 27, 2009, 9:29 pm, in reply to "my question for today- divorce/coming out to kids"
if he tells the kids first and tries to manipulate them with this?
I have read the other responses and feel that it is important to retain an attorney and do what the attorney advises. In most cases, I would agree with the other posters here about divorce first,then deal with the other stuff. In fact that is what I wanted to do, but you know my story--my exH took that away from me.
I am bringing this up because your H strikes me as someone who might do something like that, but only you can be the judge of that. I just think it might be something you want to consider.
Obviously my response here is totally colored by my own experience and it is still very hard for me to deal with the fact that I didn't get a chance to tell my own children, my way and in my timeframe. I hedged my bets that my ex would not stoop to telling my kids and I lost.
If your H were do this, no doubt, like mine it would be in an effort to manipulate the children. What do you think would be the fallout from that?
How old is your oldest O&R? The oldest ones are hit the hardest with this kind of manipulation.
Hope he is someone who will not do this to your children.
--Previous Message--
: my H and i are divorcing. He told me that he
: does not want my children exposed to any gay
: stuff. i.e. doesnt want kids to see me
: holding hands with a woman or kissing a
: woman. does not want them to know i am gay.
:
: i had been intending to come out to my
: children after the dust settled from the
: divorce.
: my h is worried because his religion
: condemns homosexuality; he doesnt want the
: kids to think it is acceptable.
:
: i would like to know everyone's thoughts on
: this situation. and those of you who have
: been through this please tell me of your
: experience.
:
: side note: he honestly thinks i am
: divorcing him because of the gay issue. lol.
: he does not believe that he has been
: abusive to me. this blows my mind.
:
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