Posted by acceptance on October 27, 2009, 10:59 am, in reply to "My husband is talking to our pastor..."
Take back the control, silentlyexploding.
Your H has been speaking with your pastor. You should also speak with your pastor in advance of a joint meeting, so that you have an opportunity to express what your needs and wants are. If the pastor believes that saving the marriage is the solution, DON'T GO to the joint meeting and find a counselor who is willing to discuss all of the options and BOTH of your wishes in an open, non-judgmental way.
It is really important to not give away your power or to allow yourself to be ganged up on. You will need to learn to do this if you are going to make it through to the other side.
--Previous Message--
: ... right now. I am very nervous. I am afraid
: I will not be able to face this man at
: church tomorrow night. *sigh* The pastor
: wants my husband and I in for marriage
: counseling, but I am not wanting to do that
: at all. I would not mind counseling to try
: to keep peace as we work through everything,
: because my desire now is to seperate. I am
: afraid that if I met with our pastor,
: though, I would feel pressure to stay.
:
: I almost outed myself to a couple of moms at
: our homeschool co-op yesterday. I know the
: news would not have been well received and I
: would have been kicked out of the co-op.
: Everything is becoming more and more real,
: ya know?
:
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