Posted by want2bfree on October 27, 2009, 8:54 am, in reply to "Re: my question for today- divorce/coming out to kids"
I can't remember how old your kids are Sweetie. You know I just went through this and we argued all day during mediation about the children being exposed to my lifestyle. We have to gay men at our church that we not so lucky when his children are there they cannot sleep in the same room. I was quite livid and spoke up for myself and who I was just as who he was that day. My boys are 7 and 5 and love Nancy very much. I had trouble the week before mediation, but I was born this way and the youngest has done well and will say he has two Mommies and the old says that he is her boy. They are just seen our affection to one another and we have told them bits and pieces along with what they have heard negative from their dad. First they knew she was the girlfriend, then as the relationship developed and you spent more time and the cookie baking began the bonds formed. You cannot let him bother you, but I can only say that now because last Friday is over with. Last Ssturday was the first time we all attended a sporting even and they met. It was all he and his parents could do to stand to be there and see how much the children loved her. Just take it at your pace and have faith in who you are and let him be who he is.
--Previous Message--
: I don't know how old your children are so
: answers may vary depending on their ages.
:
: Personally, I would get them through the
: divorce first. Mom and Dad love you very
: much but won't be living in the same house
: anymore, etc. Once they are OK with that
: then share the rest of the story with them.
: Once you are out from under your H's thumb
: you will be able to explain your feelings to
: them and model what a positive and loving
: relationship should look like. You should
: NOT hide this part of yourself from your
: kids; you should not be ashamed or
: apologetic. Doing that would only validate
: your H's homophobia and narrow-mindedness.
:
: God is love. God loves you. Your H can not
: control your children's minds....it's time
: he realize that.
:
: Stay strong, O&R.....keep moving forward...
: NS
:
:
: --Previous Message--
: my H and i are divorcing. He told me that
: he
: does not want my children exposed to any gay
: stuff. i.e. doesnt want kids to see me
: holding hands with a woman or kissing a
: woman. does not want them to know i am gay.
:
: i had been intending to come out to my
: children after the dust settled from the
: divorce.
: my h is worried because his religion
: condemns homosexuality; he doesnt want the
: kids to think it is acceptable.
:
: i would like to know everyone's thoughts on
: this situation. and those of you who have
: been through this please tell me of your
: experience.
:
: side note: he honestly thinks i am
: divorcing him because of the gay issue. lol.
: he does not believe that he has been
: abusive to me. this blows my mind.
:
:
:
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