Posted by BreakAway on October 27, 2009, 6:54 am
Message modified by user BreakAway October 27, 2009, 7:58 am
Been here lurking...........I cannot believe how many of me are out there. Thought I was the only one that has felt the way that I do and I had better get it together like soon before making the biggest mistake of my life!
Finally, a place where I belong! So many of you tell my story. Out to most and it isn't pretty and people not as understanding as I thought would be. Friends shun me like the plague, these people were like family, I am so hurt and disappointed! Some said exactly what was on their minds, siding with my spouse. Have a good friend of what I thought our family call just to see how husband is doing. LIterally called and asked how he was holding up.
I don't live in a community where there are many women out. I feel so alone and lost right now. Maybe it is me, maybe I do need to get my head examined. Maybe I should except it is me and go on and be what I was before. I have liked girls since, I can't remember it's been so long ago. Had a few encounters very young and felt like I was going to see the devil up front and personal. He was going to take me down. I lived in fear, I was so young. Then a friend of a friend told because the girl I was with told her and lets just say life as a early early teen had changed. Miserably. Kids can be so cruel. Back in the late 60's and 70's this was so so wrong. It would be nice being brought up nowadays where atleast there's a little more acceptance. Not saying it's perfect but the badgering isn't as intense.
Fortunately we moved away, father had a business transfer. Times I wondered if they knew from one of my so called friends moms telling her. From there on out I lived the straight life, can't say I was loving every minute of it. I even married! Husband doesn't know but I suspect he suspects that I am not just letting this be and it will all blow over. (had to edit after I read, too early to think straight,lol) He is one of those men that think seeing 2 women together something so hot..........wonder if he knew I was one of those women and if I were to be with a woman like that he would still think this.
Gosh, I don't know what to do. All I know is the feeling I have inside are not going away. I know who I am and I want to be in a rlx with a woman and experience all the fruits of that bond. Yes, including sex! This is my story, hope it wasn't too long. Looking fwd to meeting many of you and maybe form some friendships along the way....Best Wishes-BA
Message Thread:
« Back to thread