Posted by fun2sail on October 20, 2009, 9:10 pm, in reply to "Re: Dumped after divorce"
Hope, Xgirl, NS, and Michelle:
Thank you all for your compassion and kind words. You helped me feel that I'm not alone, which is something I can't thank you enough for.
Yes, I agree I should move on and try not to beat myself up too much. But, as you've all acknowledged, it's really, really hard right now. Especially because I see what I did wrong, and I truly believe that my ex *was* trying in her own way to reach out to me all that time. I can't help but blame myself right now.
Still, I will try to focus on the fact that she didn't communicate her changing feeling to me -- and try to get mad. Although I worry that maybe she felt like trying to reach out to me was a dead end, which brings me right back to my own inability to be open to what she was trying to say at the time. :-(
What a sad mess this all is. But you ladies have helped assuage a bit of the sting, and I thank you for it.
Fun2Sail
--Previous Message--
: hi fun2sail,
: im sorry about the pain and sadness you are
: feeling, and i can totally relate
: i have to agree with hope, though. from what
: you say, i really get the feeling your exgf
: was rather rushed and flighty. i mean, she
: was engaged, met you, got married, got
: divorced within a year, was with you a year,
: and now she's on to someonw new?? she's
: left a string of broken hearts here, and i
: wouldnt be at all surprised if the woman she
: is with now (at this moment...don't want to
: project into the future too much here) will
: not be her last.
: it is so easy to kick yourself and have
: regrets and put it all on yourself, and you
: will probably do this for a while. someday,
: though, i think you'll look back on your
: relationship and realize that something was
: amiss, and it wasn't just you. i hope you
: feel better.
:
: --Previous Message--
: Hi everyone.
:
: I wanted to know whether any of you can
: offer insight, empathy, or advice for my
: situation. I spent a little over a year
: loving an amazing woman who I met just
: before her marriage to a man. A few months
: into her marriage, we confessed our feelings
: for one another, and began our romantic
: relationship. She moved out. She just
: finalized her divorce two months ago. Our
: entire relationship has been
: long distance since I am in grad school 1000
: miles away.
:
: The problem is, she dumped me three weeks
: ago for another woman! She said she wants to
: be with someone who is more
: excited about Big Issues like kids, moving
: in together, etc. . She has a point, but I
: thought we were working through these issues
: - and given our situation, I wanted/needed
: to take things slowly. This new woman is a
: friend of hers of several years who my
: now-ex is comfortable with, and who probably
: loves my ex. she's also telling my ex
: exactly what she wants to hear re: Big
: Issues (eg, they have already discussed this
: new woman's options for moving to my ex's
: home town!).
:
: I lam still very much in love with my ex,
: and I have no clue what to do or how to move
: on.
:
: Any thoughts?
:
: Thanks,
: Fun2Sail
:
:
:
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