Posted by Hope on October 20, 2009, 1:30 pm, in reply to "Re: TO.....fun2sail......"
Dear fun2sail....
Also, does anyone have any advice for letting go of a relationship that was happy? I have no place to hang any anger to help the distancing process.
Well....for starters....how about hanging some of it on the fact that she was slowly convincing me that a "forever" with someone was actually possible. I think right around the time she started (unbeknownst to me) giving up on me
I suppose some good healthy anger could be placed there.....right ?
I'm not very religious, although I wish I were - it would be nice to believe Someone's got my back.
I'm not what I'd call "religious" either....but I am spiritual, and do believe the promise of God.
That promise being that He knows me , understands me...and forgives all my imperfections.
That promise being, that I will never really be alone....for He will be there with compassion and amazing grace ,
comfort and strength whenever I need it...and even when I don't.
I'm not religious....just very spiritual....and have great faith in Him.
His promise is the only perfect one that I know of.....and it is in that promise that I know that as you put it....
He always has my back.
I'm not very religious, although I wish I were -
So...Be open to your own spirituality fun2sail, for the desire is already in you.
Let yourself feel your faith.
Lean on it. That's what it's there for.
God..or whomever or whatever you recognize your higher power to be.... is at the center of it.
How is it possible to believe that something better will truly come my way?
It is possible to believe this ...because as we speak...you are not feeling good at all about what has happened.
If this was indeed "the best love you would ever have"....then I'd say that it might be a good thing for you to review what consitutes a beautiful , full and loving relationship.
fun2sail....I commend you on being open to taking some accountability in the demise of the relationship by examining what you feel you might have done wrong.
Not spending time trying to blame her is a good thing...
...but ....don't forget that there was two of you in this.
Not just you .
So...try not to place the blame on yourself either.
Your communication skills might be what you're looking at now as a possible cause for this breakup......but....truly, her communication skills were in no way superior to yours.
In fact...I'd say hers were quite inferior to yours simply because while she wasn't willing to wait for you....
she didn't bother tell you that she had decided not to wait for you,
and was in fact moving on with someone who was at her pace.
I have a feeling that even if you said that "you'd be ready someday".....that too wouldn't have been soon enough for her.
She was on her way out the door , because her pace was one that wouldn't wait for you.
So....that's why you can surely believe that something better will truly come your way.
The "better love" will be one that appreciates and understands your desire to think things through....and will encourage you to trust in her ability to hear your deepest thoughts... with loving respect, a desire to understand.... and without pressure.
She's out there fun2sail. The right one is out there, and is probably being prepared for you as we speak.
From this painful time in your life.... and as you heal ....try and glean from this whatever good you can for the future .
If you want to be able to be more open with someone...then use this time now to take stock of why you'd like to be more open...so that the next time...you'll be able to freely speak.
I can assure you though...that when the right one comes along....you'll not have any pressure or fear in expressing yourself.
The right woman will be one that will be sitting by your side and be willing to help you speak freely with her, and she will be supporting you through all your efforts to do so.
Yes fun2sail.....you can surely believe that someone better will truly be coming along for you.
Peace and comfort to your heart....
Hope
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