Posted by xgirl on October 20, 2009, 12:59 pm, in reply to "How do I come out to her?"
i've come to the conclusion (after 8 years of keeping everything to myself in a miserable marriage) that the only way to do anything anymore is to be honest.
just tell her. worst thing that can happen is she will tell you she doesn't feel the same way. if you're truly friends, she won't disappear as a result of this. if she does, you need better friends 
--Previous Message--
: I really need advice! I've come out to 6
: people now... am still trying to work up the
: nerve to come out to my family... but I also
: don't know how to come out to the woman I'm
: attracted to. Any advice? A couple of people
: have told me that I need to resolve the
: intensity of the feelings I have for her.
: One woman suggested I tell her about my
: feelings as a way of being open and honest
: in our friendship, and so that I can start
: to move on.... I just don't know. I do feel
: like I should come out to her, but I think
: it's highly possible that she will know then
: (if she doesn't already) that I'm attracted
: to her. A lesbian woman said her gaydar was
: going off around this woman, and I can't
: help but wonder sometimes if she is also
: attracted to me, or struggling with her own
: sexual identity, or whether she married a
: man to hide it...
:
: I don't want to create a mess, but at the
: same time I am already a mess... I have to
: see her every day, and it's getting
: excruciating. I also value our friendship,
: and it would be odd to come out to other
: friends and not to her. Not to mention that
: if I really want to be out, she's going to
: find out, and I'd really rather that she
: hear it from me than someone else. How do I
: do this?!! What precautions can I/should I
: take?
:
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