Posted by scaredtobeme on October 19, 2009, 11:29 pm, in reply to "How do I come out to her?"
The way me and my GF got together is kind of strange. We were in her office one day at work and she says to me, was (blank)a lesbian or bi. (Blank) was referring to an ex of mine, but at that point she did not know she was an ex, just a friend. I instantly froze up. I was stunned and immediately stumbled over a no because I didn't want her to know I had been in a relationship with a woman. Later on in the week we had a long conversation about her past relationships and I felt more comfortable at that point to know she had been in relationship with women before too. After that we just started talking and I eventually told her that I truly had feelings for her and that I was certain I was in love with her. A few days later we were scheduled to have dinner with a friend and she was running late. I thought great, I just got stood up by the girl I thought I was in love with. She showed up at the house about 10 minutes late, looking great, and after dinner with our other friend, we went back to my place and I basically spilled my guts about how I was feeling.
--Previous Message--
: I really need advice! I've come out to 6
: people now... am still trying to work up the
: nerve to come out to my family... but I also
: don't know how to come out to the woman I'm
: attracted to. Any advice? A couple of people
: have told me that I need to resolve the
: intensity of the feelings I have for her.
: One woman suggested I tell her about my
: feelings as a way of being open and honest
: in our friendship, and so that I can start
: to move on.... I just don't know. I do feel
: like I should come out to her, but I think
: it's highly possible that she will know then
: (if she doesn't already) that I'm attracted
: to her. A lesbian woman said her gaydar was
: going off around this woman, and I can't
: help but wonder sometimes if she is also
: attracted to me, or struggling with her own
: sexual identity, or whether she married a
: man to hide it...
:
: I don't want to create a mess, but at the
: same time I am already a mess... I have to
: see her every day, and it's getting
: excruciating. I also value our friendship,
: and it would be odd to come out to other
: friends and not to her. Not to mention that
: if I really want to be out, she's going to
: find out, and I'd really rather that she
: hear it from me than someone else. How do I
: do this?!! What precautions can I/should I
: take?
:
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